The Only Path
by comun
Summary: She have a plan and intend to follow it. But what she'll do when the unexpected happens? Does it worth to lose it all after some perfect guy? And what if the guy doesn't think she is worth it either? All-Human - Bella & Edward
1. Prologue

**All Stephenie Meyer.**

**Prologue:**

It's impossible to focus. I hate this stupid machine. I want to send it to kiss the wall. But of course, I'm just being cranky. How wouldn't I? It's 5:30AM. I have to get up for another day of craziness. Shower, coffee, flats, my bag and I'm ready to go!

The subway is crowded as usual and I'm trying my best not to wrinkle my clothes. During class, I try to think about all the things I have to do for the day. Finals are coming up and that means that I won't be able to sleep, but that's ok. I'll do whatever it needs to reach my goal. I'll do whatever it takes to take everything of the way.

Shit. I have to stop thinking, because that only leads me to one thing: him. I've done nothing during all my life other than organize everything. I studied hard. I read all the books I knew I would need at some point in my life. I never ever stained my image. Never get so wasted at a college party to the point of saying shit in front of a camera and going to youtube. Yeah, that happened with a friend of mine. I've always been focused on my path: High School, Business School at Columbia, an internship at some multinational Company, then I'd get into an international trainee program and come back do NY being a brand manager of Masons Inc.

I graduated High School with honor, I have the best grades of my class here at Columbia and I'm an intern at Voltera Inc. So, It's pretty much obvious that I'm not going to screw that up because of a… guy. He's just a guy. The most charming, beautiful creature I've ever seen but still. Just. A. Fucking. Guy.

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><p>Lately the mornings are my very best friend. I've been incapable of focusing on simple things during the afternoons. I try my best to just look at my screen and do my job. I'm great at it. My job, I mean. Because focus… not so much. At least, not now.<p>

I choose to be a business man when I was five. I saw my father in a suit and asked him what it would take me to be like that every day. Carlisle, my father, told me that being a doctor, like him, wouldn't lead me to dress up like that, but that if I'd become an important person at some important company, I would. So I did. Of course that I'm not a brand manager at Voltera Inc. because I want to wear a suit. In fact, I pretty much hate suits now. But growing up I saw that this was what I really liked and was good at.

At age of 26, I'm considered a "promise" to the Company's future. I brought so much money to Voltera Inc. that it's only to be expected a great future for me here. Our marketing campaigns have been so successful that granted us several awards.

So why can't I focus? Some would say the stress would be an understandable reason. After all, I've done nothing other than working really hard since I was 20 years old. One would say that I need a break. But no. I'm not stressed. Not over work.

The mornings are my best friends because in front of me it's only an empty work station. None of the beautiful brown hair that blinds me. Not that comfortable laugh that makes me want to laugh along or cry for its pureness. Not that gorgeous girl that made me question every single fucking thing I've worked so hard to have. None of that. Just emptiness.


	2. Chapter 01

**All Stephenie Meyer.**

**Chapter 01:**

Sitting on my desk I can't stop the feeling of the rightness of it all. I know I've done the right choice by choosing this career. I love my internship. Every single second of it. All the stressful tasks I have to do during the day, all the creative meetings to choose the paths of the brand and even the worksheets with financial numbers and costs.

The Voltera Inc. is a technological company that is specialized in gadgets that no one uses, like Smartphones, notebooks, tablets, mp3 players… you know, useless stuff. We are the biggest company in the market, we are top of mind when it comes to every single one of the categories we work at. So, working at the Marketing Department of a Company like that it's really a dream coming true.

I work at the _Brands_ department, where we take care of the image and path of the product. In my case, it's ours notebooks. My team is consisted of my boss, the Notebook Brand Manager Emmett McCarty, two analysts, Seth Clearwater and Jasper Whitlock and myself. I truly couldn't ask for a better team. Emmett is, with no shadow of doubt, the best boss one could ask for. He's like a huge teddy bear, and really famous for his joke lines. Jasper is weird sometimes, kind of bossy but a good guy. And Seth, well, after five months working here, he's already my best guy friend. The department is bigger than that, of course, because it's consisted of all the brands teams.

After powering on my computer, I can't help but notice that he's not here. Much to my relieve. And despair. Suppressing a growl I started working. Unable to stop the feeling of loss and the memories do flood my mind. I know I have to stop all that. All the feelings and the questions, but somehow, I can't find it in me.

When I got in the Company, he was out of the country. He was away for two months. The last two months I had with easy sleep. When he came back, I was already old news around, so no one thought about introducing us. The brands department is made most of young people, everyone really easy to get along. So, after two months I was already a part of the whole.

The first time I saw him I thought I was hallucinating. I mean, really, he's like a Greek God. All bronze sex hair and green eyes. I tried my best to look away. The first time he spoke with me, was in the coffee room. _"__You __are __the __new __intern, __right?__"_ He asked. I just nodded and blushed. He gave me a perfect crocket smile and wished me good luck. It just took two phrases for me to be head over heels with the guy. Pathetic, I know.

Then, there's was the first time we have a conversation with each other. He was, in fact, the Smartphone Brand Manager and boss of my already great friend Alice. The Company has a restaurant and everyone lunches there, especially because is for free. One day Alice asked me to join her and guess who asked to go along? Of fucking course. Edward fucking Cullen. How could I possibly eat with the form of perfection in front of me? It took me about five minutes to find out. Turns out that nothing. I'm unable to do anything but nod and blush in front of him. After about twenty minutes of Alice talking non-stop, Edward turned his head in my direction and spoke in such a low, sexy voice, that I thought I would die.

"_So, Bella, are you enjoying working here at the Company so far?"_

I took me at least two full minutes to form a coherent response, and when I did, it wasn't even a good one.

"_Yeah… I guess I am."_

I mean, talk about showing enthusiasm! I said in such a bored voice that he probably thought I was an ungrateful bitch who couldn't appreciate a great opportunity when it showed. He just gave another crocked smile and that was it. Alice came back full mode, talking about how much everyone was enjoying my presence, and about the great time we had at Emmett's birthday while he was away. Every once in a while he would look at me and smile that same smile and I would die a little bit more.

I stopped my thoughts when Rosalie started talking to me.

"Hi, Bella, what's up?"

"Nothing really, just have some financial report to deliver this afternoon and you?"

"Well, I just came back from a meeting with a publicity agency about the commercial for the new mp3 player we're building… everyone is really exited!"

"Great, Rose." Rosalie Hale is the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. She has this perfect blond hair and a to-kill-for body. Every man here drools over her and it's incredible how she simply doesn't care.

"Hello, ladies! Bella, good you're here. I'm going to need your help today." Seth just showed up out of nowhere, screaming for attention like always. I couldn't help but laugh at him.

"Well, hottie, I won't be able to help you much today… I'm kind of really busy." I said with a smirk. I loved teasing Seth. Then, Rosalie started laughing. Hysterically, I may add.

"Hottie? Did you just called Seth 'Hottie', Bella?" she asked between laughs. By this time, Seth was already laughing with her.

"Yeah. You know I was being sarcastic, Rose." I said, trying to play it cool, but I knew that I was already blushing.

"Yeah, right, Hottie." She said, and blinked at me. Argh, I'm never going to hear the end of that.

By five o'clock, everyone of the department was already calling me "Hottie". They didn't even knew why, but everyone thought it was fun. Then, it happened. Jessica, always the smart ass, turned to Edward and asked him "Hey, Edward, do you know the Hottie?". He looked dumb folded and shook his head no. She just laugh and said that the Hottie was me. He looked at me with wide eyes, probably wondering why the intern of all people was mixed in this kind of play. Again, I nodded and blushed. He smirked, shook his head and talked with that sexy voice that makes impossible for me to sleep at night:

"_Is that right, Hottie?"_

Fuck. My. Life.


	3. Chapter 02

**All ****Stephenie ****Meyer.**

**Chapter ****02:**

I was in front of my closet for the past 45 minutes. I have never been the girl who cares about clothes, but I knew the importance of being well dressed in a corporative environment. So, I would spend my free days in jeans and a converse... But at work I would always be well presented in trousers, some fancy button down and flats. I don't even think of heels in the daily basis and I don't think anyone would ask me for. After all, I use the subway to get around, and take classes before going to the office.

So why am I freaking out looking at my clothes on a Sunday night? Well, it's just that tomorrow I have an event at work. The marketing department really likes to throw parties and they do it every time they have an excuse to do so. Tomorrow is about our latest awards. It will be a ceremony with and after party in some fancy club in the Madison Ave. It's supposed to be all about bonding and engaging... But it's pretty much about the drinking and dancing, of course.

I would know what to wear for a thing like that before. But know it's not only about showing a good image of myself, but also about looking good so that Edward would look at me. Gosh, I'm so pathetic! I've spend the entire weekend thinking things through. Then, I would see how of an imbecile I was making of myself, and start studying. But it wouldn't be long until my thoughts drifted to my new obsession.

If I'm being honest with myself, I'd see that it's a ridicule thing. I mean, I'm... Well, me. I'm plain, no beautiful, no hottie - it doesn't matter how much people call me that now. I'm kind of smart, I guess, but... It's not like I'm some sort of genius or a really experienced person. After all, I'm just a 21 years old intern! While Edward... Ha! Edward it's a brand manager at age of 26. In fact, he's probably about to became head of marketing not far from now. He's gorgeous. Greek God gorgeous. He has already traveled around the world. He already won a fucking Cannes Lion, for Gods sakes!

My conclusion is that I should just enjoy the view and stop obsessing! It's not like anything would happen between us. Not even if it was a possibility. I wouldn't screw my career by screwing someone from the management. So why do I care about some stupid clothes for some stupid party?

Han... But if I think about it, I could play casual. Wear some tight pants with some blouse that shows that it's just a normal work day for me. And heels. I mean, all the women wear heels at work, so it wouldn't be like I was all dressed up in some fancy clothes. And I guess that tight pants and fuck me heels are casual and sexy enough, right?

Because, after all, I don't care at all of what will happen, of what he'll think. I don't care about girly stuffs. I care about my plan and being well presented.

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><p>Finally, I'm sitting here watching the ceremony, but I can't concentrate with all this bronze hair four chairs to my left. He has been the same way for the past days. Never speaking to me, but somehow I felt like, every time I looked at him, he would be looking at me too. Considering that my working station is directly in front of his table it means that I saw him looking at me several times a day. How couldn't he? He's probably wondering why I'm always burning a hole in his skull. And I swear I try to be discreet, but I guess I've been unsuccessful.<p>

All the speeches are over and I head to the bar with the girls. The music is starting and soon it will be impossible to hold a conversation. I grab a champagne and the random talk starts.

"So, Alice, now that you're single, we have to go celebrate!" Jessica said in such high pitched voice that I was already with headache, even before getting drunk.

"Sure thing! I was thinking of some girl's night out, so we could all drink and sing at some karaoke or something." Alice probably already has a vision of the entire night. "So, Bella, you are coming with us, right?" she asked already doing a puppy face.

"I will think about it, Alice. You know I have tons to study and I don't like getting out that much…"

"But, hottie, you have to come! We have to get you out of this shell of yours!" Rosalie pointed.

"Yeah, right…" I pretended to agree. After all, I was losing on numbers here. I was entertained with my glass when I heard Alice's squeal.

"Hey, Eddie boss!"

Really, "Eddie boss" was the most insane nickname ever, but he didn't seem offended or disturbed that his analyst called him like that. In fact, he opened a huge smile to her and came close to us.

"So, what's with the girl's scheme over here?" he asked, pretending to be truly interested, but I could see that he was only being polite.

"We were talking about Alice's singleness and how we're going to celebrate. And we're taking Hottie with us. I want to see if she's really all of it on the dance floor." Jessica said, coming too close of Edward for my liking. But it's not something unusual. She was, along with Alice, his analyst. So, the three of them were always together.

"Oh, it's not only about the dance floor. We have a dance floor right here and I intend to make her use it. Is more about the hotness in other aspects." Rosalie said laughing. God, how I hated how she could talk like that and I couldn't tear my eyes from my glass and feel my blush creeping up my neck and face. They continued the weird conversation about me, when I felt Edwards face get really close when he inclined and said next to my ear "Does it taste good?" he said pointing at my glass.

I looked up and saw him staring at me with an odd expression on his face. He wasn't joking. He wasn't asking because he wanted to know if the champagne was good. He wanted to know something else, but I couldn't point it out. Was he repressing me for drinking at a Company's event? I looked at his hand and noticed that he wasn't holding a glass… And that I didn't answered him. I looked up again and tried my best to smile to answer him.

"Yeah, it's really great, actually. You should try some."

He gave me a crooked smile, turned to the bar and asked for a beer. When he turned back, someone else had already claimed his attention and I lost him. I decided that it was time to look for Seth. I needed to feel safe.

Seth was trying to dance along with Jasper and a lot of other people from our floor. To be honest, he was falling miserably. I started laughing when he saw me and motion me to join him. I'm not I person who can dance. I can't actually be stand still for more than 15 minutes without falling just for the sakes of it. But the true is, I know that being a loser who stands in the corner won't get me anywhere and that I must be seen in order to be someone. And that means being seen in all situations. Including dancing. So, I went next to Seth and Jasper and started my attempts. The champagne was flowing freely and I was never with empty hands.

Then, some country song started to play. Jasper took my hand, pulled me to the middle of the dance floor and we started dancing with no grace, but at that point, no one was actually giving a damn. While spinning I noticed that Edward was next to us, dancing and singing with everyone. When I looked at him directly, he was looking at me back. But not long after that, he turned away. Seeing him so comfortable with friends was something incredibly. His eyes were sparkling, his smile huge. He was even more breathtaking.

The songs came back to pop, and me and Jasper broke apart. We came back to dancing in group and while dancing next to Edward, I could feel him. Even being an arm length apart from him. I could feel his heat. I could synchronize my movements to his, like we're dancing with each other instead. Every time that he would look at me, I would give him my sincerest smile and lock my eyes with his. I never had felt such joy. I also had never felt so tipsy.

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><p><strong>Well, this is my first attempt in writing. I know that this chapter is a little motionless, but I really think it's important to the history line. I'll try to post new chapters real quick. And well, reviews would be great! Thanks!<strong>


	4. Chapter 03

**All Stephenie Meyer**

**Chapter 03:**

I'm probably going insane. I was avoiding the Office like a plague, because being there was becoming unbearable. I've never been a man to obsess over women. I would always have a date, take her to my bed and show her out in the next morning. I know it's a horrible thing to do, but I don't feel that bad because all the women I've done this with wanted that as much as I did. They wasn't looking for something serious and neither was I. The only commitment I have is with my career and it suits me just fine.

So, why am I obsessing over her? She's all I can think of. All I look for is her. Every once in a few minutes I look up my screen just to have a glimpse of Bella biting her bottom lip while focused on work. I get lost during phone meetings when someone says something that she thinks is funny enough to make her laugh freely. I can't concentrate when she's sharing a piece of her with Alice or Rosalie. I want to know all about her and I'm not proud to say that I'm always eavesdropping their conversations.

Last Tuesday when Jessica said that Bella was now being referred as "Hottie" I lost it. All I could think of was who would do something like that! She is new in the Company and is clearly that she's looking for a career so her image is something important. Who would just denigrate her like that? These kinds of plays may be misjudged and she could end up with a bad reputation. Or did she do something to deserve it? Was it a man who named her like that? Was she dating some guy in the company and he was now spreading the word of how she's in bed? Fuck it. I can't think of her in bed with some random jerk. I can't think of her in bed with anyone for that fucking matter.

I was losing it completely. Chances are that my face was showing all the rage I was feeling in that moment. I needed an explanation and when I looked at Bella in order to have one, she was biting her bottom lip, looking nervous and embarrassed. She was so beautiful and seemed so innocent that I knew that this was just a joke between her and her girlfriends. Jessica shared this information with me because being polite and discreet is something that she never learned. I knew I had to make her more comfortable so I spoke the first thing in my mind:

"_Is that right, Hottie?"_

Of course I regretted in the same second that the words left my mouth. Her eyes went wide, her color became more crimson and when her phone started ringing, she just looked away to answer and didn't looked at me again. I wanted to lighten the mood and I end up flirting with her! I wanted to show her that I was okay with her having fun with her friends and I probably just freaked her out even more!

And to say that my day couldn't be even more disastrous when it comes to Bella, I went to gym. What could go wrong in gym? I needed to work out and didn't have time to do it in the morning because of an early meeting. The Voltera Inc. is a great place to work. They have the best environment that includes a library, an excellent free restaurant and a gym. And this is really a great thing because it makes possible to work out without having to go around before or after work. So, I grabbed my stuff and went to lift some weights.

I was passing the gym corridor to go to the locker room when I saw her. Isabella Swan working out! She was laid on that stupid machine, lifting weight with her shin. It was a fucking gluteus machine! She was there laid, spread and sweaty in a room with other ten mans. Of course she wasn't the only woman. Every woman uses that machine every time. But not Bella. Not Bella next to ten mans drooling over her. Not with me drooling over her. I wanted to take her out of there, cover her with burqa than take her home with me, because I'm one sick bastard. I knew I couldn't do none of that, so I gave up working out and went straight home.

If Bella was making my showers long as it was, after this day at gym, they were taking twice as long. It doesn't matter how much I tried to talk my body out of that. I knew it was wrong, that it was a sick thing to do, but I simply couldn't help it. Bella is a beautiful girl, and she's made of porcelain. She wasn't made to be used in long showers. She was made to be respected. I knew she deserved at least that much. And it wasn't only that. She was an intern in the Company I work at. And I'm not an intern anymore. I may not be her boss, but I am in higher position and thinking of any co-worker like that is wrong. Desiring her and dreaming of making it all come true is wrong in so many levels I can't count.

I knew I had to stop all that, and not only the showers but the dreaming about the pettit brunette the works in front of me. I had to stop because I did not only think of her as a Hottie girl. I think of her as an interesting woman and that is dangerous. Because making this go too far could end up with me hitting on her or even asking her out. Dating Bella would be a terrible thing for my career. What would Aro, the Head of the department, think of me, a brand manager, dating an intern? It would be clear that I wouldn't be taking my job and the Voltera Inc. seriously enough to deserve my position.

But the worst thing is that, what if Aro just thought it was a normal thing to do? That every man in a high position ends up screwing a woman under them? Not that I wanted to screw Bella! But what would he think of _her_? It would be clear that she was only a girl trying to fuck her way to the top. No one would take her seriously after that. I could never do such thing with a girl who clearly was giving her best. Emmett said some many times already, of how great Bella is. Even before hiring her he told me about the girl he interviewed for the position, which was so passionate with the idea of the job that he knew she was the one for it. He already told me about the amazing things she have done for the Notebooks Department in this five months. She was responsible for a new marketing project that made the head board of the Company invest several millions with no questions asked. So, who could I be obsessing with her even if I knew that this was the worst thing for both of us?

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><p>It was another event of the Marketing Department. Such frequency of events is understandable when you think about the age group of everyone. Only a few is over thirties. And when you think that our jobs consume so much time of our lives, finding excuses to party with co-workers is the only response to having any kind of fun. I always used to have a great time at these things. I mean, I'm not such an old man myself and all my friends works with me, so is like hanging out with friends with the Company paying our tab. Anyone hardly talk about work and everyone gets so relaxed that is easy to forget the main reason we're there.<p>

I'm guessing that such easy fun won't be coming to me tonight. Bella showed up today in tight pants and fuck me heels. Seriously, is like she's consciously trying to make my life a living hell. It took about five minutes of her presence to every single fucking guy talk about her. Even if dating co-workers is something to avoid, mans talking about women it's not something that can be prevented. So Rosalie is frequently commented in the locker room during the mornings, even Jessica is sometimes included in the conversation. Of course that since Bella started working here she is, much to my despair, frequently the subject. I normally just walk away to avoid hearing the hideous things they talk about Bella. But today was impossible to walk away from the commentaries. They were everywhere. Everyone was talking how Hottie was Hottie tonight.

She, of course, seemed oblivious to all commentaries and appeared to have chosen heels just to change a little bit. I was standing having half conversation with people I didn't even registered the faces while watching Bella next to the bar with the girls. They were already drinking and all of them, with exception of Bella, were laughing out loud like they were already drunk. They probably already were, considering how skinny they all are and how small amount of alcohol they can stand. At some point, Alice saw me staring and called me by that stupid nickname that makes me want to laugh at her a_liceness_ every time.

"Hey, Eddie boss!"

I came close to them and stand right next to Bella. I could smell her right away and I knew I had to start some sort of conversation with them in order to be close to her, so I pretended to be interested and asked what they were doing. As wasn't even registering what they were saying until fucking Jessica told that they were planning on taking Bella on some sort of girls night out to see if Bella is "really all of it on the dance floor". If that wasn't bad enough, Rosalie added that it wasn't only on the dance floor that they wanted to see if Bella was indeed a Hottie. I almost took Bella away from her crazy friends in that same moment. But even I knew that this wouldn't be appropriate, instead I just ignore them and focused on how Bella appeared to be concentrated on her champagne glass. Why the glass seemed to be holding the world's most important secrets? Is she already drunk? I can't believe that her friends would let her drink like they do. She's probably not used to drinking and is already feeling the effects of the alcohol and not feeling well. I just have to know if she is drunk. If she is, there's just no way that I will let her without protection.

"Does it taste good?" I asked looking at her glass. She seemed disturbed with my question and it took her at least two minutes to answer me.

"Yeah, it's really great, actually. You should try some."

So, she is, indeed, drunk. She never spoke like that to me. I knew my face was showing more emotions that I wanted her to see, so I turned to the bar and asked for a beer. I would need one to have the balls to be around her like I knew I had to. But I knew I couldn't drink if I was doing this. There's just no way that I could control myself and be useful after drinking. I would end up groping her on the dance floor like the fucking sick bastard I know I am. When I turned around, some people started talking to me and I had to answer them. When I politely took myself out of the conversation, Bella wasn't with the girls anymore. I started looking for her everywhere. Even in the bathroom line and I simply couldn't find her. It was only when I entered the dance floor that I spotted her graciously dancing with Jasper and Seth. I relaxed minimally. They were both good guys and I knew that they were trying their best to make her comfortable at work. And well, differently from every other guy in the room, I knew that didn't see Bella like a piece of meat. How do I know? It's just that Jasper have been in love with Alice since he got in the Company. They are the only ones who don't know about it. Which is a bad thing considering that they could easily date. After wall, they are both analysts and are not even of the same area. They've been working at Voltera for the past three years or so, proving themselves to be more than two people who are there just for fun. Falling in love happens even in the work space and I'm pretty sure that everyone would see their relationship as a good inevitable thing. While Seth, well, I'm not even sure if he's straight. And he's clearly a great friend of Bella already.

I was watching Bella dancing with them for about five minutes when a country song started and Jasper took her to dance with him. In that moment, he loving Alice was just a far thing in my mind. I couldn't help the jealousy. He was holding her close to him, taking her hand and swinging her against his body. She was clearly having a great time and I wish I could be the one to put such an easy smile on her face. I noticed that she was still holding her glass and that at this point, was more drunk then before. I knew that I wouldn't be able to leave the dance floor so I started dancing with everyone else. When Bella looked at me I tried my best to hide that I was staring at her. But I'm sure that by now, she can see through this.

When the country songs stopped, they came back to dance with the group and Bella was dancing right next to me. Just her closeness was maddening. I could feel her. Sense her movements like they were my own. It was just like we were synchronized. She was smiling freely and would even lock her eyes with mine and give the most breathtaking smile I've ever seen. It was taking all my strength to not kiss her in front of everyone we work with or to just take her hand and leave with her. But I knew I couldn't so I settled with enjoying what I could have: an incredibly sexy and beautiful woman dancing and smiling like she was made just for me, like all her smiles were mine, like that shine in her eyes wasn't the champagne but happiness caused by my presence.

I know I can't feel this way and that I have to be away from her for both of us sakes. But it's like she's calling me. Like some magnet is forcing me closer to her. But I know that somewhere I have the strength to pull away.

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><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed it! :)<strong>


	5. Chapter 04

**All Stephenie Meyer**

**Chapter 04:**

My finals are over which means that now I'm going to have more time to breathe. Studying and working isn't easy specially when you want to do everything perfectly and can't seem to focus. Now that the semester is over I won't need to wake up before the birds and will be able to spend more time at the office and have more work done. Being more time there will be a great opportunity to prove more of myself. I'm building a new project that I am having a great feeling about. Of course that is for a good product and that helps a lot, but it's a new concept of notebook and is important to know how to show it to the world.

I only have the spring break and one more semester to be at the Voltera Inc. After that, I'll be graduating and hopefully I will be accepted in some awesome trainee program, with much luck it will be at my dream job: Masons Inc. But I need good recommendations and a good reputation on the Marketing World, so I have to do my best now.

Looking around my apartment I realize that I've been neglecting it for far too long. I decided to clean it up while listening to Kings of Leon. It's a good thing to take care of my apartment and manual labor is effective against thoughts. But the long bubble bath that I'm taking now at the sound of The Black Keys… not so much. I can't stop missing him. Edward has been away for the past three weeks. He went to Europe two days after the event in some emergency trip and is really weird how much I can miss someone that is nothing to me other than just some stupid crush.

The positive side of the distance between us two is that I've been able to act more naturally around work. It's really reliving not to feel so self conscious all the time. And I could do some thinking while he is away. I have only six more months to be around Edward and I will be free of him for good. I haven't embarrassed myself in the four months that I know him so I think I can manage another six, especially if his always away. After that I won't see him and that would be over. No more obsessing. No more nights without sleep thinking about what is the meaning of the things he says. I will be free to continue my path without being hunted by his beautiful green eyes.

My fingers were already pretty wrinkled when my phone started ringing. Well, maybe is Alice with some torture program for my Saturday night. Suppressing a growl I picked it up without looking to see who it was.

"Hello."

"Hi, Bella!"

"Jacob?"

"Yeah… don't you have my number?"

"Yes, I do. I just didn't look to see who it was. What's up?"

"Well, I wanted to see if you want to do something tonight…"

"Tonight?"

"Yeah… It's just that… I really wanted to see you and I heard of this place that has the best Italian food and I thought of you."

"Well, am I your back up date, Jake?" I said laughing. Actually, some good Italian food seems like a great idea. I was starving and could use a good company to scare the bad thoughts away.

"Of course not, Bella! It's that…" He started talking but I decided to take him out of the misery but cutting him.

"It's ok, Jake! I was kidding. Dinner sounds great."

"Oh, great. Pick you up at 8pm?"

"Sure."

"I will be there! Bye, Bella."

Well, now I have two and a half hours to get ready and I already took my shower so I need like, ten minutes to put some clothes on. Going to the couch to watch some TV I can't stop thinking about Jacob. He's an analyst of the Financial Department of Voltera Inc. He is my financial BP and that's how I met him. We started talking because of something we have in common: Forks. He lived his entire life in this small rainy town in Washington, and this town happens to be where my father lives and where I was born. My parents are divorced since forever, but I always spent at least a month every year to visit Charlie, until I got into college. After we found that out, we start talking more and we really get along just fine. But two weeks ago, we bumped into each other in a bar and we've been talking to each other every day since. Jake always passes at my table to say "hi", we exchange e-mails, have lunch together sometimes and we work out together every night. It is really cool of him to invited me out tonight.

After watching one episode of Vampire Diaries wondering how a girl can fall in love with a vampire, I decided to get dressed. I don't know how the restaurant Jacob is taking me is, so I decided to put some effort in it using a simple green dress with a cropped jacket and flats. I don't even try to do something with my hair, so it's down kind of straight and kind of curly as always. I'm ready when I hear the knock on the door and when I opened I faced a really huge and really handsome Jacob Black with jeans and white button down, smiling at me.

"Hey, gorgeous." He said, smiling and pulling me to a quasi hug.

"Hey, gorgeous yourself." I said hugging him back.

The restaurant he took me was a small place that could only exist in NY. It was a piece of Italy in the middle of SoHo. It was small and messy, with more tables that could actually fit and chairs of all types. The interior was all made of stone, like we were in the Toscana. It was a really amazing place. Right after sitting, we were already eating bruschettas, drinking wine and laughing like only is possible with an old friend.

Jacob and I talked about all random things possible since differences between small towns and NY, until what flavor of ice cream we would actually die for. We were enjoying the easy conversation when Jacob got really quiet and started staring at me. He cleared his throat and started speaking in a low voice.

"Bells?"

"Yeah?" I asked between bites of my awesome mushroom ravioli.

"Why don't you have a boyfriend?"

I almost spit my food all over the place. What kind of question is that? Seriously?

"I don't know, Jake. Maybe because I'm not girlfriend material. Jesus!" I said in not such a cool tone.

"I'm sorry, Bells. I didn't mean it like that. It's just that I thought that maybe you had some kind of rule or something, because I can't imagine you not having a line of guys wanting you just for themselves."

I started laughing out loud at that! A line, really?

"Well, Jake. They all must have got lost, because I can't see this fucking line. And it's ok because right know I wouldn't be a good girlfriend. I barely have time for myself even more to be with somebody else. And I have this plan to follow and I just can be wasting time looking for a boyfriend, you know?"

"I see." And just like that, the mood was ruined and considering the time, it was time for us to leave. Jacob drove me back home and in front of my door he pulled me to a tight hug and said next to my ear "I'm sorry, Bells. I didn't mean to offend you. Just know that you are amazing and that I would very much love to be your boyfriend someday." He gave me a kiss on the cheek and I couldn't help but smile at him.

"Thanks, Jake. I had a great time. See you Monday?"

"Sure, Bells. Good night."

"Night." And with that he turned and walked away. I just stand there thinking about the night. Jacob is a great guy. He's beautiful, smart, and funny and apparently, thinks I am all of those things. Why can't I feel anything other than friendship towards him? Why do I keep thinking of Edward? Why does it feel like cheating on him by hugging Jake?

* * *

><p>Monday morning and I'm already working frenetically when my phone started ringing. Much to my surprise and stress, it was Gianna, Aro's secretary calling me to go down speak with him in five minutes. I asked Emmett if he knew what this was about and he only said that I would be ok. I went down and got into his office. Gianna pointed me to go in.<p>

"Hello, Isabella." Aro said in his extreme polite voice that creeps the hell out of me.

"Hello, Aro. What can I do for you?" I tried my best to look calm and stop shaking.

"Well my dear, a lot of things actually. I wanted to speak with to you regarding your position here in the Company." Now I was nervous. What he could possible want from me? And what about my position? I motion him do go ahead.

"Isabella, you are here for six months now and you have been doing an excellent job so far. I am aware that you have a project in view but I would appreciate your efforts in something else. Another section, to be more precise." He said faking a smile.

"What do you mean, Sir, by another section?" I couldn't believe that he was trying to change me from my section. I'm fine at the Notebook Brand Department. They usually wait at least one year to make changes like that and I won't be here enough for it.

"Isabella, you are a great addition to your team. But there are now other places where you could be more useful. There are many projects going on and one specifically would be perfect for you to join. I already spoke to your manager and everything is settled so you don't have to worry about what McCarty will think." I can't believe that I will have to leave my project. But in the other hand, it may be good to work in another section and maybe make more contacts.

"Yes, Sir. I will appreciate the opportunity to learn more about other field." I said with my best smile.

"Great, Isabella. Now we have to discuss your new position. You won't be doing anything much more different than what you are doing now. You will help the Smartphone Brand team with the new Campaign. Our smartphone is still the best in the market but our competition is getting stronger by the day and we have a plan to prevent us to lose our first position. Everything is also settled with Cullen and he is back from his trip and your hand-over will start today already. You won't have to change your physical space since is already close to your new team." WHAT? I AM GOING TO WORK WITH EDWARD? This cannot be happening with me! This cannot be happening! Please let it be a joke, please…

"Ok, Sir. I will have everything organized by the end of the week." I answered ready to get out of here and freak out in some private place. I just can't believe that I will have to endure working for Edward of all people. How can I possible do a good job if I will always have to talk with him directly and answer him and… Oh My God.

"Very well, then, Isabella. Thank you. That would be all. Have a good morning." He said while I just nod and left ready to cry over my fate. How did that happen?

* * *

><p>I was in Europe for the past three weeks. I knew I had to be distant from Bella even if it was pathetic to run away, I couldn't be so close to her after the party. I thought that maybe some distance would do me some good. But it only made me miss her like crazy. It is an insane concept to miss something I don't have. At least being away from her makes it impossible for me to do something wrong. Too bad that I didn't have a reason to be away much longer and I had to come back to NY and face my demon. My beautiful demon.<p>

I get into the office and Emmett told me that Aro wanted to speak with us. I couldn't even register what Aro was saying. I lost it when he mentioned that Bella would be now working with me. I know that I am supposed to do a hand-over with her but that's only because is standard. I don't even remember what I told Aro or how Emmett reacted to the loss. And I don't even care. After taking the news I went for a coffee. I didn't want to face Bella yet.

When I came back to my table Bella wasn't there. Alice heard the news and was happy to work with her friend and Jessica was happy to have one more person to share work with. We were in fact, overloaded with work and in a need for a fourth person. I just wish it could be someone else. I was about to sit when Bella came to her table looking clearly upset. Did she not like the idea of working with us? Or was she just sad for leaving her job halfway? I tried my best to look calm e talk to her like I'm supposed to.

"Bella, I'm glad to have you working with us. I suppose you're not upset with the exchange, are you?"

"Thanks, but I'm not. Actually I am happy for learning something new. I'm just a little bit worried of how I am going to pass all my work to Seth and Jasper until the end of the week, that's all." She said looking to the ground. She was clearly lying. But why?

"Well, Bella, don't worry about it. You will have anytime you need to do the hand-over with your team. As soon as you are free, I would like you to sit with Alice so she can start explaining to you everything about what we have been doing." I said entering in full boss mode. That is how is supposed to be. I am her boss now. I should give her orders and take care of her and of what she is doing. I am also supposed to teach her considering that she is not any employee but an intern who is here to learn.

She just nodded and sat in her table, already explaining things to Seth. I left a breath I didn't know I was holding and started working. I was responding e-mails when I heard an unknown male voice talking.

"Good morning, Bells."

I looked up and saw a huge Native American inclining to give Bella a kiss on the top of the head. He was being so loving with her that it was clear that they were intimates on some level. My blood started to boil thinking about what level was that. I hold my breath again and wait while she just looked up, relaxed her shoulder and gave him a small smile. God, she was beautiful.

"Hey, Jake." Bella said in a small voice seeming really tired.

"What's up, Bells? You look sad, baby." The _Jake_ guy said taking her hands in his. So, he is probably her boyfriend. The fucker just took her hand and called her "baby". And I couldn't do anything other than just stand here and watch the impossible scene unfold in front of me. All I wanted was to kill the guy. But I should be happy, right? That is the solution to all of my problems. The girl is unavailable so there's not much I can do about it. So why I don't feel relieve?

"No, I'm not sad. I'm just tired. How are you?" she asked faking a smile. A piece of me was happy to see her faking a smile at him.

"I am good. What did you do yesterday after I left?" So the fucker was in her house yesterday. Fuck this shit! And how can someone left her?

"Yesterday? Last time I saw you were on Saturday night, Jake." She said smiling truly this time. So the fucker was confusing her with some other girl? He was cheating on Bella? I'm so going to kill him! How can someone do this to someone like her? I can't believe that she would date such a sucker.

"Bells, it was already yesterday when I left your house. It is a new day after midnight you know…" So he was with her! At her house! At night! And I am going to throw up. Fuck it. I can't stand it anymore!

"Bella?" I said trying to sound even, but I was livid inside. I wanted to kill someone. This fucker was touching Bella only yesterday.

"Yes?" She looked at me biting her bottom lip, the one I couldn't bite. The one it wasn't mine to bite. The one that belongs to _Jake_.

"Are you done with your hand-over with Seth and Jasper? I would appreciate if you could go talk to Alice now." I said the nicest way I could because I don't want her to hate me already. I couldn't help but look at the fucking dog in front of me with all the hate I was felling in the moment.

"Oh, right." She said standing up. She looked at me, than at Jake with an odd expression in her face. Jake put his hands in his pockets, like he was doing it to prevent touching her and said the he would talk to her later. She nod and went to sit with Alice. Good, he was going to talk to her later. He didn't said anything about seeing her later much to my almost relieve.

She sat with Alice all day. I didn't hear anything about the so called Jake. But I heard Bella talking about the incredible restaurant she went on the Saturday. The dog must have took her there. But Alice didn't ask so I assume that their relationship is already known enough. I think this is a good thing. At least he is treating her well.

I knew that this was it. I'm never going to have Bella. I never would. I am not even good enough for her. Not that this Jake guy is. No one is, actually. But even unworthy, I won't be with her. Because I am her boss and she is a beautiful and intelligent girl who deserves a chance to be everything that she has the capacity to be. I am going to just forget about her. It can't be hard. I didn't even touched her. And that's probably it. I am obsessing with her because she is indeed a desirable woman and this is getting the best of me, but not anymore. I reached my phone and dialed the only number that I could think of, after three rings I heard a voice in the other side.

"Edward?"

"Hello, Tanya. How are you?"

* * *

><p><strong>So, I apologize for some errors but I am always out of time and I am writing this in my BlackBerry or Ipad. The auto corrections and the horrible keypad makes everything more difficult. I check everything before posting but I miss some things.<strong>

**Again, thanks for reading!**


	6. Chapter 05

**All Stephenie Meyer.**

**Chapter 05:**

Everything was happening very smoothly at work. Edward was still out often and Alice was helping make everything easier. To be honest, I think she suspects something because she is always offering to do the things that are most directly related to him. But of course, I still have to talk to him on the daily basis and I'm getting better at it. At first, I would blush every so often for thinking that I was showing too much of my emotions. By now I believe I created a good poker face when it comes to Edward.

Jacob and I have been going out frequently. Sometimes we go alone and sometimes we hang out with my friends. The more I spend time with Jake, the more I see that he's not for me. I know that he is starting to feel something towards me but I am too much of a selfish to let him go. Being with Jacob makes me forget a little about Edward and I welcome the distraction with open arms. I guess if I look at it more clearly I would see that I am trying really hard to like Jake the way he likes me.

Last week Jacob asked me what I thought of Edward and I freaked out a little thinking that maybe I was an open book just like my mother always said I was but turns out that he was only asking because he thinks that Edward is a "fucking idiot". When I asked him why, he told me that Edward looked at me weirdly and was too much of a "self-centered ass that doesn't care about his employees and only about his stupid bossy requests". I really don't know where all this hate came from and I was afraid of finding out, so I let it go saying that Edward wasn't that bad and that Jake only thought that because he don't know Edward.

It's been a month since I received that awesome news that led me to work with Edward. During all this time I only acted like a complete imbecile once. It was three weeks ago when I was talking with Alice and Rose in the coffee room. They were talking about how funny they thought it was that everyone still calls me "Hottie" and, not only that, but everyone is using "Hottie" as a treatment pronoun for anyone. Apparently I'm cool for creating the new slang of the Company. Right.

"But at the same time, I think that 'Hottie' should be exclusive to the ones who are indeed 'Hottie'. I mean, Mike Newtown don't deserve to be called 'Hottie' at all. That way 'hottie' would be something more exclusive, you know…" Rosalie started sharing her beautiful theory of "Hottie" and that would be okay if I just kept my mouth shout afterwards.

"But Rose, that way 'hottie' would be too exclusive. I mean, only Edward would be able to be called that." I said laughing. I'm always trying to prove that I see Edward like anybody else and making jokes of him seems a natural thing to do. I mean, when a girl has a crush on a guy she normally can't even say his name naturally even more joke about him, right? My plan would be great if their eyes didn't almost pop out of their heads in the moment I said those words. When I turned around to see what was causing them to look so terrified I almost ran away. Behind me was a gorgeous Edward Cullen smirking at me.

Fuck. My. Life.

I am pretty sure that I reinvented a new tone of red in the moment. I could feel the heat of my blush in my ears. Come on! I just fucking said that my boss is the one and only hot guy in the entire fucking company! On his face! I think I thought at the moment that it was a good thing that he was smirking and not saying how much inappropriate my behavior was but I can't recall it clearly. My blood was running so loudly on my ears that it was hard to listen to my own thoughts. And when I was pretty sure that I couldn't be more embarrassed, Edward opened his mouth and said words that will hunt me to the end of days

"Oh, Hottie, I am sure that I am not the only one who deserves to be called that."

Fuck. My. Life. Backwards.

I just stood there looking like a deer caught in the lights while he just put himself a cup of coffee and left the room. The silence was deafening. I turned to see Alice and Rosalie holding their laughs. In the moment he was out of earshot they started laughing like two fucking hyenas at my expenses. When I started to walk away they started saying that they were sorry but that everything was too funny to control. I was not in a good mood anymore so I just left and went to my table to work. It is actually great to have to sit in front of Edward, like I could not be more embarrassed. I couldn't even hide from the guy.

That day was also the first time that I heard her name. His phone started ringing and he answered without looking. After the regular greetings I heard something that made my heart stop for several seconds.

_"Yes, Tanya, I will pick you up at your house._ *Silence*_ I don't know why you are so nervous. I already know your parents._ *Silence*_ It's just a party, Tanya and I am sure you will look great. I have to go now but I'll call you later."_

After this phone call he received several others from her. It's beyond obvious that she is his girlfriend. I know I should not be upset but every time I hear her name I want to smash some innocent object. I already broke two pencils and my keyboard. The keyboard time was a little embarrassing because I punched the thing after he said "Tanya" on a phone conversation. I sit right in front of him and let's be honest, punching things is not usually a quiet thing to do. The moment I punched the plastic device in front of me Edward closed his phone without excusing himself from his girlfriend and run to my side.

"Bella, are you ok?" he asked in a really concerned voice. Already taking my hand in his and examining it closely. It was the first time that we ever touched. If I could always feel his heat by being close to him, touching him was beyond description. It was like all my nerve points run to my hand and I started feeling with such intensity that it was like a shock. My eyes went wide with the contact and when I looked at him, he was using an expression that mirrored my own. Was he feeling it too?

"Yeah, I mean… I wasn't the one getting punched. You should ask the keyboard. He was the one who take all the damage." I said the first stupid thing that crossed my mind. Did I really suggest him to talk to the fucking thing? He started laughing, never letting go of my hand.

"I see. May I ask you what the keyboard did to you to deserve such punishment?" he said while massaging my knuckles like he knew that they were sore.

"Reflex. I hurt my feet on the edge of the table." I went again with the stupidity. But what would be a reasonable explanation for punching the thing? _"Oh is just that I have a huge crush on you and I usually freak out when I hear you talking to your girlfriend_"? Yeah, I don't think that would be a good response.

Edward started laughing. God, how much I love his laugh.

"You are a very intriguing creature, Bella. Are you sure that you don't need to go to the medical center to have your hand or your feet checked out?" he said still holding my hand. I wanted to come up with some very long thing to say to keep him here, holding my hand for the longest I could, but I couldn't think of anything.

"No, I'm ok. Thank you." I smiled at him. I wanted him to know that I was really ok and that I wasn't crazy or anything. He stood looking at me in the eyes for a minute or so, not walking away, not letting go of my hand. Then he straitened his shoulders, let go of my hand and said in a not such smooth tone.

"Very well then. I will let you go back to work." And just like that he went back to his table. I noticed that he didn't call Tanya back to explain why he turned off the phone on her face. That warmed my heart a little. Maybe he didn't want to talk to her. But his mood swings were really maddening.

Today for example I was having lunch with Jacob when Edward stop next to me holding his empty tray and said in a really harsh tone

"Bella, I'm sorry to say that you will have to cut your lunch short because I need you in ten minutes. We have some important thing to discuss."

He didn't seem sorry at all. I looked at him and said that I would be there in five. He wasn't even looking at me. He was looking at Jacob with a disgust expression in his face. Apparently the hate was mutual. Jake had the exact same expression on his face. Edward just walked away and Jake started to complain of how rude Edward was and that was unacceptable for him to just interrupt me on my lunch hour. I tried to say that I didn't mind and that Edward always let me have how many breaks I need during the day and don't even keep track of my hours, so he must need me for something important, but Jake heard none of that.

When I got to my table, less than ten minutes after Edward asked me to, he didn't even acknowledge my presence. I went to him to ask what he needed and he simply said that it was already taken care. What could be so important for him to request me during my lunch and could also be solved in five minutes? I knew he was trying to torture me but I simply didn't know the reason. He must exist just to torment my life with his beauty and weird mood.

Now I am sitting on my table looking at some work sheet and can't concentrate with so many things going on my head. Every once in a while I stole a glance of Edward and he seems to be really concentrate in what his doing. He is really beautiful when his working. He usually takes out his jacket and just work in button down and slim tie. His hair is a mess like always because his constantly passing his fingers through it. Usually when he is looking at his screen his brows furrow causing him to have a wrinkle between them. Edward always seems tense during work making me want to go there and massage his shoulders and make the tension go away. Of course I only dream of it. Let Tanya be the one to relax him. Stupid bitch. I'm analyzing how Edward seems to adjust his tie every once in the while when I heard a very distant voice calling me. I turn to see Alice looking at me like I was crazy.

"What, Alice?" I asked pretty disturbed to be interrupted and embarrassed to be caught staring at Edward again.

"You didn't hear anything I just said, Bella?" she asked annoyed.

"I am sorry, Alice. What were you saying?"

"I was talking about my birthday party. I was asking if you decided what outfit to wear. Maybe you would like me to take you shopping because I'm pretty sure you didn't so you will need my help. What about tomorrow? You know that the party is Saturday and today is already Tuesday so there's not much time left and you will end up going…" She would definitely die from lack of air. I guess is my duty as a friend to prevent this kind of thing, so I cut her before it.

"Ok, Alice. We will go tomorrow after work, okay? There's no need to freak out."

I knew that I wouldn't be able to get out of this one so it was better to just go along with her. Alice always gets what she wants. And considering that it's for her birthday is the least I can do. The thing is I just wish I didn't have to go. Edward will be there and likely with his girlfriend in tow. So I'll probably just show up and leave early with some lame excuse like a headache or something. I don't think I can stand the sight o Edward with someone else.

* * *

><p>It's been a month since Bella started working directly with me. I have been trying my best to stay away from her. When I need something I usually ask to Alice or Jessica. But the truth is that is getting hard by the day. Every day she arrived at work I feel the need to go to her and take her in my arms. Now that her classes had started, she is only here part time and I miss looking at her in the mornings but I embrace the opportunity to actually work.<p>

I thought that maybe Tanya could distract me but the truth is that she only helps me to want Bella even more. No woman can compare to her. All the things Tanya says is not even half as interesting as the ones Bella says. Her lack of intelligence is maddening and makes me miss the smart comments that Bella always have about everything. And on top of everything is the fact the Tanya is so predictable that is impossible not to die of boredom next to her. Every comment she makes is futile and it seems that she only cares about appearance.

When I first call Tanya I asked her out. She was surprise, of course, but accepted anyway. Just like I knew she would. She is the daughter of my parent's best friends and we know each other since we were kids. She always had a crush on me but even seing her appeal I couldn't be attracted to her. But why shouldn't I give her a chance?

I took her out one week after the phone call and was one of my worst dates ever. I couldn't stop thinking about Bella and that only lead me to be really mad with myself. There I was, with a beautiful woman sitting across to me in one of the best restaurants in town and I was obsessing over my intern. So I knew that I had to try harder in order to stop those feelings. On the end of the date, I took Tanya home and couldn't find it in me to kiss her. I just stood there like an idiot looking at her. She probably sensed my discomfort but said nothing about it. Instead she decided to invite me to go to a party with her. It was one of those stupid charity events that don't make any sense to me, since the party is more expensive than the money being donated. Everyone we know would be at the party, including our parents.

At first I thought that it was a terrible idea. I would be taking our relationship to a huge level by making it public. But it was what I needed after all, something to stop me from running away from Tanya without trying my best. So I went to the party with her. Everyone seemed thrilled about us being together. By the end of the day, I took Tanya home and she asked me to go inside. I said she deserved for us to take it slow, kissed her briefly on the lips and left. The thing is I didn't have any desire to be with her, to touch her. Even the idea of kissing her seemed wrong, like I was cheating on Bella by doing so.

Three weeks ago I caught Bella saying to Alice and Rosalie that I am the only one in the company who deserve the "Hottie" title. To say that I was flattered would be an understatement. It also made me wonder if she felt attracted to me or just thought that I have some sort of obvious beauty that she doesn't find appealing. And of course, I wonder why she didn't mention her boyfriend as "Hottie". Does she think I am more good looking then him? At first, I intended to just walk away but she turned and saw me staring at her. In the moment, I had to let her know that if someone in the company deserves the title, is definitely her. She blushed beautifully and I left quickly to stop her discomfort.

Jacob seems to be marking his territory often by showing up at Bella's table every day at least once. I am about to call his boss to let him know that his analyst is lacking of work enough to be able to walk around the building daily. Every time he comes to see her I want to break his face. I noticed that Bella doesn't seem to reattribute his affections like is to be expected from a girlfriend and I hold to the hope that maybe she is not in love with him. But I know that chances are the she is just too shy to PDA especially on her work space.

I have been avoiding seeing Tanya and only got out with her other three times and four kisses more. We talk constantly and I can't deny her that. We are, in some way, a couple and the least I can do is talk to her. I noticed that Bella seems disturbed by our phone calls. Or maybe is just coincidence but I am pretty sure that the two times she broke her pencils was after I said Tanya's name. Then was the time she punched the keyboard. That made me sure that she had something against me talking to Tanya. Was she jealous? Probably she just thinks that is inappropriate for these kinds of calls at work. That would explain why she doesn't seem happy when Jacob is around. Maybe she thinks his visits are also inappropriate but don't know how to tell him that.

When I heard the sound of Bella's hand connecting with that piece of plastic, I turned off the phone on Tanya's face and went to her. Punching a keyboard may get her hand hurt and I needed to see if she was ok. The truth is that I didn't even thought things through. The appropriate course of action would be for me to just ask her if she was fine, not run to her and take her hand to examine it myself but I couldn't hold back. The moment I touched her I knew I wouldn't be able to stay away. It was like a shot of electricity coursing through me. I could only imagine how it would feel to kiss her. I bet it would be nothing like anything I ever experienced. When I heard her responses to my questions, I couldn't help but laugh. It was impossible to predict anything that gets out of her mouth. I felt a little disappointed when she said it was a reflex but what did I expected her to say? That she thinks my behavior completely inappropriate? I am her boss after all and the smart thing to do is not to lecture me.

Now I'm sensing Bella staring at me. I am trying my best not to look at her and keep my focus on work. It is a hard thing to do and I am wondering why she is looking at me so intensely. Is she mad for the thing I pulled earlier by interrupting her lunch with Jacob? I just saw them at the restaurant together and they were laughing and the jealousy got the best of me. I know I can't take advantage of my position as her boss, but is really hard to see the two of them together. Alice is now talking about her birthday party and I know I can't avoid going but being there will be definitely a torture. How can I stand and watch Bella and Jacob being even more affectionate than they are allowed to be here? How can I fucking stand the sight of the two of them dancing together or hugging each other… or kissing each other? Fuck me.

* * *

><p><strong>Next chapter is the party. Will Jacob and Tanya attend?<strong>


	7. Chapter 06

**All Stephenie Meyer.**

**Chapter 06:**

Alice and I left work a little bit earlier to shop. According to her we didn't have to because we live in NY and is possible to shop almost 24/7. The disturbing thing is that she would really consider such absurd. Now I am standing in the middle of the dressing room acting like her personal doll. I have tried so many clothes that one would think that Saturday will be my wedding day and not my friend's birthday party.

"Alice, really, don't you think that one of those hundred clothes I've tried is good enough?"

"Come on, Bella! I want it to be perfect and having my best friend nothing more than incredible is just as important as the quality of the buffet."

"Alice, did you just compare me to food?" I am laughing but I am very much annoyed.

"Bella, you know it's nothing like that! And I know how much you want to be pretty for Saturday" she said nonchalantly and I'm sure my eyes just left my face.

"I don't, Alice! I am sorry but I would be just fine in my old jeans and a hoodie."

"Oh Bella, I know how much you want to look good to... Jacob. Otherwise you wouldn't be here."

"Alice, I really don't care about what Edward will think of me! I am here because of you." I know she wouldn't believe in me but I had to try.

"I knew it! You love Edward!"

"What?" What the fuck? How she came up with that conclusion? Five seconds ago she was thinking that I was all into Jacob and now...

"Bella, you just said his name. You said you don't care of what Edward will think." She is smiling at me like children in a Christmas morning. God, did I really said his name? I need to buy a new filter... Doesn't Alice think that is totally inappropriate for me to like him?

"Alice, I don't love Edward. Come on! It is just a stupid crush that will be over next week. He is my boss for crying out loud!"

"Bella, he is your temporary boss. You will leave Voltera Inc. in five months. Then you will be able to be with each other. You know that this isn't a temporary crush... You've been in love with him since you first saw him. You waited that long, you can wait more five months."

Is Alice right? Will it be ok for me to be with him once I leave the company? But leaving won't change the fact that Edward wouldn't want me. He has a girlfriend who is probably way more beautiful and interesting than me. And after I leave we won't be seeing each other anymore so there won't be a way for me to show him I have something to offer. Which I don't. So being with Edward is not a possibility and I can't let myself hope only to end up with a broken heart. I don't have time for broken hearts.

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><p>I am working nonstop for the past two hours. Our project is demanding a huge amount of dedication and the dead line is close. The presentation will be in Chicago a month from now. Everybody is really excited about it. I am cool because as a intern I probably won't be going. Everything is fine until I hear the only word that makes me feel like throwing up.<p>

"Tanya?" I heard Edward saying, his voice full of confusion. When I looked up, I almost had a heart attack. Between my work station and Edwards's table stood still a gorgeous woman. She was tall, thin and with a beautiful strawberry hair. It was obvious that she was rich, because her clothes screamed high couture.

"Edward, honey, I was trying to call you but tour cell phone is apparently not working. How are you?" She said inclining to kiss him. By now Edward was already stand and he inclined to kiss her back. When I was about to close my eyes to prevent having such horrid image glued to my eyelids for all the fucking eternity, I noticed Edward kissing her on a cheek instead.

"Well, I guess my battery died. I'm fine. May I ask you what is so important that you felt like dropping by?" He asked trough clenched teeth. His reaction was not what I was expecting. I always thought that he was a loving man. Maybe he is not that happy about her invading his space unannounced.

"Tony, don't be like that! I just needed to give you this. I thought you may need it." She said smiling while giving him what appeared to be his cell phone charger. "You forgot it in my car." And what was that of her calling him Tony? Who the fuck is Tony? Why he doesn't seem upset about being called other name?

"Thank you, Tanya. It was really sweet of you to come all this way to give it back." He said looking at the charger with an odd expression.

"It was nothing. I'm going to stop interrupting your work now. Talk to you later?" She made it sound like it was a question. Didn't they speak with each other frequently?

"Sure." He still wasn't looking at her. Is he really that touched for her gesture?

"Bye, honey."She said giving him a peek on the cheek. And just like that, she turned and walked away. When Edward looked up, he stared straight into my eyes. Did he notice me watching everything? Blushing, I looked down and went back to work.

How could I possible compete with her? She is almost as gorgeous as Rose and that's really something. And they were clearly engaged in some serious relationship. She is even anticipating his needs, like they've been together for years. Thinking about it I don't know how long they are together. Maybe they are High School sweethearts or something like that. Maybe they are one of those perfect couples that are meant to each other, the kind of couple which finishes each other lines.

Truth is that I am the sad pathetic one. I am in love with a guy who not only is my boss, but is also in love with another woman. I cannot be this kind of girl. I didn't come that far in life to be about to burst in tears at work. I'm not the kind of girl who thinks about skipping her best friend's birthday just to avoid a guy. This is going to stop now. Picking up my phone I called the only person I think had some kind of chance of helping me get through this.

"Jake?"

* * *

><p>I'm waiting Jake arrive to pick me up. I asked him to go with me to the party as my date. He is a great guy and I can't waste the opportunity to be with Jake because I'm stupid enough to fall in love with an impossible guy. So this is me giving myself a chance. Looking at the mirror I can't see the difference in the dress Alice picked up. To me is just as pretty as most of the dresses I tried. But who I am to argue with Alice in clothes matters? I am about to look at the clock wondering if Jake would be late when I hear the knock and went to answer the door.<p>

"Hey, Jake." He was standing there looking at me like I was the last cold coke in a desert. Rising and eyebrow to him, I decided to ask again. "Jacob?" He shook his head and pulled me to his arms.

"You look incredible, Bells." He whispered next to my ear. I felt a shivered coursing through me and wished it was desire, but it was more like tickles. Resting my head on his chest in an attempt to hide my blush I whispered my response.

"Thanks, Jake. You look incredible too." And like that he took me by the hand and we went to the party.

Alice's house is something that could only be described as _Alice_. It was modern, fancy, fashion and full of life. She is from a very rich family and they still treat her like their little princess. The entire house was decorated in black and white with a lot of flowers and candles everywhere. Her main room that is usually already very clean and space full, was the perfect space for a party. In the far corner of the room, it was a bar and a DJ next to it. Around the room had a lot of lounges and in the center it was the dance floor. Everything was so beautiful and well thought that it seemed to be one of those reality show parties you see on TV.

The moment Alice saw me entering the room, she gave one squeal and came to us hugging and saying that she was really happy to see us there. She looked at our holding hands and gave me a look that said "Wtf?" but I choose to ignore. I wasn't about to let her talk me out of my decision.

Several of my co-workers were already there and soon I was holding a champagne glass and talking and laughing with everybody. I noticed that Edward was nowhere to be seen but that was a good thing. I continued talking when I felt it. That shock of electricity coursing through me. I didn't need to look to see who had his hand on the small of my back. Every piece of me new who was. I looked up to see Edward inclining his head to give me a kiss on the cheek. At the same moment I felt some strong hand holding my arm not so gently.

"Hello, Bella. How are you?" Edward said in his sexy smooth voice, looking me straight in the eyes. He took his hand out of my back and was moving away from me already when I answered.

"Hi, Edward. I'm great and you?" He simply smiled, shook his head lightly, nod his head on Jake's direction and continue his greetings to our friends.

When I turned to look at Jake that was still holding a dead grip on my arm, he was looking like he was about to kill someone. I just looked at where he was touching me to show him that it was hurting. He looked at his hand on my arm and widened his eyes and started rubbing the sore place.

"Oh my God, Bells. I am so sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you I just lose it every time. I'm sorry!" He was looking desperate. Like I would start screaming at him or slap him or something. I smiled at him to let him know I was ok. He is right not to like Edward. I am about to start something with him but I will never feel about him the way I feel about Edward.

Seth came to us and started talking to Jake and I gladly welcomed the distraction. I was wondering where Tanya was since I didn't see her when Edward arrived and now he is talking to Emmett on the other side of the room, but there's no sight of the strawberry blond hair anywhere. Didn't she come with him? What woman on her right mind would leave Edward go to a party alone? She probably has a lot of self stem.

After some minutes Jake asked me to dance with him. I accepted after complaining about my lack of coordination but Jacob assured me that we would be fine. I took his hand and we went to the middle of the dance floor. He pulled me close to his body and we started slowly dancing. Jake took my hand in his, put it over his heart while the other was resting on the small of my back, on the same spot Edward had his hands before. He rested his head on top of mine while swinging against me.

Jacob is a huge guy. I was completely lost beside his form. If someone was watching us from behind him, probably would think that he was dancing alone. I always thought that this kind of connection would make me feel safe but all I could feel was a huge need to throw up. I was feeling sick from the contact. I didn't want to be like this with anyone beside Edward. Jake's hands on me made me feel dirty. If everything I was feeling in the moment wasn't enough, Jake started talking in a voice that I think it was supposed to be sexy, but just made me even sicker.

"Bells, you have no idea how beautiful you are tonight and how happy I am to have you here."

I knew I shouldn't be doing this. Jacob is a great guy. I already love him so much. I couldn't use him like this if I knew with all my being that I would never feel anything more than friendship towards him. I had to get away from this embrace, I needed fresh air. I started pulling away when Jake tightens his grip on me.

"What's the matter, Bella?" he asked with his voice full of concern.

"I'm not feeling very well. I guess it was the champagne." I lied.

"Let's get you some fresh air, then." He started pulling me with him out of the dance floor, when I looked him in the eyes.

"It's ok, Jake. I don't want you seeing me throwing up. Go to Seth and I will be back in a few." I tried assuring him that I was fine. I didn't want him with me, at least not now.

"Are you sure, Bella? I don't mind taking care of you." He was caressing my face and it only made it worse.

"I'm sure, Jake. I'll be right back." And with that I turned away and through one of the doors that I knew led to Alice's winter garden.

When I closed the door behind me I gasped. The garden was with dim light and beside the counter in the end of the garden stood Edward. He looked like something terrible had happened to him. He looked devastated. When he heard me, he looked up and stood there staring at me for several moments… me being supported by the door and him being supported by the counter.

"What are you doing out here?" I asked, once I finally find my voice.

"I just didn't feel like being inside anymore and you?"

"I didn't feel like being inside anymore either. Do you want me to leave?" I knew I shouldn't be here. He was the reason I was like this but I just needed to be close to him. It was like my whole life depended on being next to him.

"No! Please… stay." He seemed tortured and scared. I walked closer to him and stood half sited on the counter beside him. "Where is your girlfriend…? Tanya, isn't it?" I pretended to not know her name like my own.

"She is not my girlfriend." That was his simple answer. I wanted to tell him that this was a ridiculous thing to say, because she was in fact his girlfriend. What else could she be? She was clearly not his mother. But somehow I knew he was telling me the truth. Maybe it was his way of telling me that they broke up. When I was about to ask him if he was sad about the break up, he spoke.

"Where is your boyfriend?" he said it in a low voice but full of rage.

"I don't have a boyfriend." I know that he was probably asking about Jacob, but he wasn't my boyfriend anyway. The moment I finished my sentence, Edward started laughing.

"What are you laughing at?" I asked. Did he really think it was funny that I don't have a boyfriend? Or did he know that I don't have a boyfriend and was just rubbing it on my face?

"Of course he is your boyfriend, Bella." He said like I was retarded. His voice was full of anger and I couldn't understand why.

"I would know if he was my boyfriend, Edward. I am telling that he is not." I was starting to get really mad. What is wrong with him?

"Isabella, Jacob is your boyfriend. I think you just didn't notice, then." WHAT THE FUCK? How can someone not notice a fucking boyfriend? And what's up with the calling me by my full name? Fuck him!

"Look, Edward, like I just said, if he was my boyfriend I would knew it by now. There are some interactions that must happen between two people in order to them being considered a couple. So unless Jacob drugged me or I suffer some serious case of memory loss, I would remember touching him." I was furious.

"He is not your boyfriend?" He looked dumb folded. But I guess he is only deaf. When I was almost saying this out loud, he started laughing. What the fuck?

"I can't believe he is not your boyfriend! Well, that explains why you are never as affectionate like he is. I am so stupid!" What the hell is he talking about?

"What the hell are you talking about?" I let out without thinking. Edward just looked at me and a smile started showing on his face. Fuck me if he's not the most perfect creature that ever land foot on earth.

"I am sorry, Bella. I just assumed he was your boyfriend. He is always with you and the way you were dancing out there, I thought that… I'm sorry." He said and took my hand in his. The electricity was there, just like I knew it would.

"Why does it matter if he is my boyfriend or not?" Again with the word vomit. I could just simply say that it was ok and move on with the subject. But the truth is that I'm just too curious to let it go.

"Why does it matter? Bella, it matter the world. It would spare me I lot if I knew all along that you are not his." He said looking at me in the eyes with so much passion that I got wondering if I was the cause of so much intensity. But how could I? And what is he talking about? Spare him from what? And why didn't he just ask me if Jacob was my boyfriend?

"Why didn't you just ask?" I wanted to know so many things and end up asking the most stupid question.

"I was afraid of the answer I guess."

"Why does it matter, Edward?" I looked right inside of his eyes. I needed to know the answer. Why did it matter to him?

Edward got away from the counter and started positioning himself in front of me, never letting my hand go. He kept staring inside my eyes while he gently raised his hand and put some lock of my hair behind my ear. When he spoke it was like I was getting warmed all over my body.

"It matters, Bella, because having to respect our roles in the company is impossible. Because having to watch you from afar is the hardest thing I've ever done. Because thinking of losing you before even being able to have you is the worst kind of torture. But mostly because the idea of someone else touching you is maddening." He was saying while getting closer to my face by the second. I'm sure I didn't have any air left in my lungs. I knew I was hallucinating. The champagne was probably making me create these things in my mind, but I couldn't care less. Edward was saying everything I've ever dream about hearing. And when I thought that it couldn't become better, his lips crushed to mine.

In that moment I knew I was lost. I was his for good. Nothing could compare to Edward's kiss. It was affectionate and passionate. One of his hands was cupping my face while the other was holding my shoulder. The kiss was chaste but full of lust. It was soft caresses in my lips but made my entire body burn. Every once in a while I could hear Edward murmuring that I was beautiful between kisses.

Somewhere along the way, the sensation was too much and somehow, not enough. I needed more of him, so when I found my strength to move I moved my hand to the base of his neck and into his hair. His hair was incredible soft like I thought it would. I started pulling him to me, because I couldn't be close enough. I needed more of him. I needed all of him. I started to feel his lips with the tip of my tong while opening my legs to make room for him. He positioned himself between my legs and opened his lips to me.

When our tongs finally touched I knew that I would burst. It was the most intense experience of my life. I could feel it everywhere. Our kiss became more frantic and Edward started moving his hands. The one that was cupping my face was know on my hair, pulling slightly. The hand that was on my shoulder started descending to my arms, going to my waist and lower. He grabbed my hip when I crossed my legs around him, bringing our bodies to full contact. I could feel him pressed against my stomach. I loved every single second of it.

His hands moved from my hip to my knee and up my leg and under my dress. He groped me and grabbed me on his way back to my hip. He pulled me even closer to him and I welcomed the friction. There wasn't a single centimeter between us. We were holding, grabbing, groping, kissing, and biting. When Edward broke the kiss and started kissing my chin, going to my neck and up to my ear, I started moaning. Then, everything stopped.

He stilled his movements. I could feel his labored breath on my neck. He kissed me lightly on the spot and we stood there for what felt like eternity. When Edward got even more away from me, he was with his eyes closed. He opened them looking at the ground, never looking at my face. I can't even describe my emotions in the moment. When he finally looked at me, I didn't know what to think. His expression was something I never saw before and I simply couldn't understand. But the moment he opened his mouth, everything became really clear.

"I am so sorry, Bella. I just got carried away… I am sorry. I know that this is not appropriate… I just… I hope you can forgive me." he was shaking his head, like he wanted to erase something from his mind. "It won't happen again, I assure you that. I am sorry."

And with that, he left.

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><p><strong>Thank you for reading! :)<strong>


	8. Chapter 07

**All Stephenie Meyer.**

**Chapter 07:**

On Thursday I left work and went to my parent's apartment. I usually go there at least once a week to have dinner with them. What I didn't expect was to find Tanya sitting on the living room talking to my mom. They were laughing and acting like old friends. Truth be told, they kind of were. Esme saw Tanya growing up and probably see her as a daughter or something.

After an excruciating dinner Tanya asked me how I was coming back home. When I told her I would take a cab, she offered me a ride. I didn't want to accept it. I would rather take the subway than being on a car with her. But I couldn't say no. Once we were alone, Tanya started talking about her sister's wedding. This kind of subject freaks every guy out but this is the kind of woman Tanya is. She is always a step ahead and it wouldn't surprise me if she already had us a date set, even before we going to bed. I just listened everything she had to say and nod every once in a while.

When we got to my apartment I could see she was expecting an invitation to go upstairs. I tried to think about having sex with her but the idea was disturbing. Not because Tanya isn't sexy, but she simply isn't Bella. I should be worried about never getting laid again in my life, since I would never have sex with Bella and I apparently can't have sex with anyone else, but I didn't. I even try to talk me into it by thinking that by now Bella is most likely on Jacob's arms but this only made my mood even worse. I settled in kissing Tanya saying that we would talk later and went upstairs. I know I have to end up everything with her before she gets into it too deeply.

So when Tanya materialized in front of my table at work on Friday, I realized I was too late. She always has been a woman of pride. She can be, after all. She is beautiful and well-succeed enough for it. Putting her face out there with the possibility of me turning her down, just to give me something she knew I would need could only represent that she really cares about me above it all. It only made me feel like shit. I couldn't even be mad at her by calling me like she did when we were kids. I couldn't look her in the eyes so I stared at my cell phone charger – that likely dropped from my suitcase – thinking of what I should do.

To make everything even worse, when Tanya left I looked up to see a really sad Bella. She was looking at me with a destroyed look on her face. She was on the burst to tears and everything I wanted was to take her in my arms and make the pain go away. What was that it was causing her such pain? If I knew, I would do anything in my power to make it disappear. But I simply couldn't ask her, could I?

On the Saturday I asked Tanya to have lunch with me. I needed to end things with her, even before it started. I knew I was being a coward. I didn't even try to love her... But I simply knew that I would never. She showed up in her impeccable beauty as always. Even in jeans and flats she looked like a model. She would never show up with a messy hair because she is always caring about her appearance. She would never just be and this only made my resolve stronger. I looked at her in the eyes, took her hand in mine and was about to start when she spoke

"I get it, Tony." She was smiling sadly at me.

"What do you get it, Tanya?" I asked don't knowing how she could possibly know.

"You are still not ready. I know it all along. I don't know why you called me that other day, but I knew you needed me, so I went to you." I still didn't get what she was saying and probably sensing my confusion, she continued.

"Tony, I know that you are not ready for a serious relationship yet. You should see your face when I was talking about Irina's wedding. I don't want to pressure you. Just know that I will wait until you are ready, okay?" She said squeezing my hand and getting up. I looked at her and she inclined, gave me a light kiss and said "See you next week at my parent's house, okay? They will have an anniversary dinner and would love for you to come."

* * *

><p>To say that I was relieved for how things end up with Tanya would be an understanding. I don't know what possessed me to even try in the first place. To be honest, I knew that it was jealousy. I just wish I knew how much bigger jealousy could be at the time. If I knew, I wouldn't have come to Alice's birthday. Even loving Alice like a little sister, I wouldn't have come. And If I'd tell her the reason, she would have understood. Nothing in this world is worth the pain of seeing Bella with someone else.<p>

At first I thought that my career was the most important thing in my life. But now I know that the only thing holding me back it's hers. I don't care about my job at Voltera Inc. I don't care about my own name when it comes to Bella. I just wish she loved me just as much. But I know that she cares about her internship. So there is just no way I am going to take that away from her. I may not be a good person but I am not that selfish to end with her life just for my well being. I already have a name for myself. I could simply quit my job and start my own company. I have already built everything for me. But Bella haven't. I wouldn't want to have it all destroyed when I was where she is now.

When I arrived it was easy to find her. It is like I can sense her wherever she is. She was standing next to Jacob and her friends. She was using a midnight blue dress, that wasn't tight in her body. The dress was fluid and had part of her back exposed. At first, you could think that the dress was a little big on her and that she was holding it with the band in her waist, but it's just that she is too small to regular measures. Her pale skin was shining with the lighting of the place and her hair was loose like she always uses it, a mess of brown curves hanging on her shoulders and back.

When I came close to her, I had to touch her. I am not a touchy person normally, but I greeted her like I was. I put my hand on the small of her back and welcomed the sensation that always came with touching her. I inclined ever so slowly to kiss her on the cheek while taking a deep breath of her amazing perfume. I kissed her and it was the most amazing experience in my life. Her skin was so soft under my lips and her smell incredibly more powerful. I broke the kiss gently passing the tip of my nose on her cheekbone taking a last deep breath. Because that was it. This is all I am going to have from Bella.

While moving away from her, I asked her how she was. I needed to hear her voice. When she answered me, shyly like she usually does, I wanted to kiss her. She was so breathtaking. No woman could compare to her. I was looking inside of her big brown eyes that held so much mystery and feeling so much comfort. I wish I could just stare at her forever, but I knew I was running out o time and my actions would become socially weird in only a few seconds. So I broke away from her gaze and acknowledged her lucky bastard boyfriend with a nod. Then I moved away and continue with my touchy greetings, as if I always acted that way.

After a few minutes, I found Emmett and we started with the easy conversation. The problem is that I simply couldn't concentrate. I was half listening to Emmet while paying attention to Bella's every move. How she seemed to particularly enjoy every one of Seth's jokes. How she seemed to be constantly looking around for something. How she every so often would smooth the end of her dress and how she is usually putting some loose of hair behind her ear. Every movement was amusing. And I couldn't tear my look away.

"That bad, han?" I heard Emmett's voice but couldn't understand what he was talking about.

"What?" I asked confused.

"You have it bad for Bella." He said like it was not a big deal.

"Emmett, I don't 'have it bad' for Bella. I don't have anything for Bella, actually."

"Bro, you don't have to lie to me. I know it's a fucked up situation but you could work it out."

"Damn right. It is a fucked up situation, Em. She is my fucking intern! And I can't work this out. I just have to get over it." I said more to myself than to him.

"Yeah, right. Don't screw this up, dude." He patted my shoulder and left, probably looking for some more interesting conversation. When I turned to look for Bella It was like being stabbed.

She was dancing with Jacob. He was holding her close to him, holding one of her hands over his heart while his other hand was touching the small of her back. Her head was on his chest and her hair everywhere. His head was rested on the top of hers. They were moving very slowly almost like they weren't moving at all. The hand that was on her back was fisting her dress right where I was touching earlier.

The sight of the two of them together made me want to throw up. She wasn't supposed to be on his arms. She was supposed to be on mine. But she never would. While he could touch her whenever he felt like, I could not. It felt like a gift to put my hand on the small of her back for five seconds and there he was, able to do it anytime. She was his. Never mine.

When I thought I couldn't stand it anymore, I left. I didn't know where to go. I just saw a door and open it. Behind it was a beautiful winter garden. I saw a counter in the end of it and support myself there. I wanted to cry. I wanted to kill him. I wanted so many things but at the same time, I wanted nothing. Nothing that wasn't Bella. I was about to collapse when I heard a crack of the door. When I looked up to see who was, I thought that I had become mad.

She was standing at the closed door, like she needed it for support. She didn't look well. Did she have a fight with Jacob? Did he done something to upset her? When I was about to open my mouth, she presented me her beautiful voice.

"What are you doing out here?" How could I answer to that and not lie?

"I just didn't feel like being inside anymore and you?"

"I didn't feel like being inside anymore either. Do you want me to leave?" She asked with uncertainty, like she wanted to leave... but I couldn't lose her just yet.

"No! Please… stay." I practically begged her like I could, like I deserved anything from her. She pushed herself away from the door and walked slowly to me. I wanted to run to her but I stood still. She positioned herself beside me on the counter.

"Where is your girlfriend…? Tanya, isn't it?" She asked suddenly. Where that came from? Why was she asking about Tanya? I didn't feel like talking about it, especially because here she was without her boyfriend.

"She is not my girlfriend." I asked simply. "Where is your boyfriend?" I asked because I really wanted to know. Why was she out here with me when her boyfriend was at the party? They just started dancing. I wanted to know if he did something to make her feel unworthy of being there.

"I don't have a boyfriend." She said with a shake of shoulder. I had to laugh at that! She looked at me with rage.

"What are you laughing at?"

"Of course he is your boyfriend, Bella." I didn't need to clarify that I was talking about Jacob. She wasn't denying his existence, she was denying his role.

"I would know if he was my boyfriend, Edward. I am telling that he is not." She said almost spiting fire with the words. Why was she denying?

"Isabella, Jacob is your boyfriend. I think you just didn't notice, then." She must tell me the truth.

"Look, Edward, like I just said, if he was my boyfriend I would knew it by now. There are some interactions that must happen between two people in order to them being considered a couple. So unless Jacob drugged me or I suffer some serious case of memory loss, I would remember touching him." Is she saying that she never had sex with him? But a lot of couples date and don't have sex. When she said she never touched him did it include kissing?

"He is not your boyfriend?" I said it more to me than her. I knew what she was telling me. He is not her boyfriend. He is just some disgusting guy who can't find his place. I guess she is too nice to send him to fuck himself. I can't believe I misjudged the signs. I should have known that Bella would never be with a guy like him. "I can't believe he is not your boyfriend! Well, that explains why you are never as affectionate like he is. I am so stupid!" The false relieve I was feeling was too good.

"What the hell are you talking about?" She asked looking at me like I was crazy. I couldn't help but smile at her. She is gorgeous. I was so happy that I think I could take down the world. I had to let her know that I was sorry for assuming things from her.

"I am sorry, Bella. I just assumed he was your boyfriend. He is always with you and the way you were dancing out there, I thought that… I'm sorry."

Now that I knew she wasn't his, I needed to touch her. In some distant part of my mind, I knew that this wasn't the only thing holding us apart but I couldn't care about it. So I took her hand in mine and immediately, I could feel my body coming to life.

"Why does it matter if he is my boyfriend or not?" She spoke fast, like she didn't think it trough. She was being honest, so I knew I had to be honest with her too.

"Why does it matter? Bella, it matter the world. It would spare me I lot if I knew all along that you are not his." I answered looking at her in the eyes.

"Why didn't you just ask?" Why didn't I? I could have innocently asked her. But how would I react to her answer if she said she had a boyfriend? Would I have a break down in front of her? Could I hold it together?

"I was afraid of the answer I guess." I answered honestly because I think I was.

"Why does it matter, Edward?" She said looking me in the eyes like she was searching for the answer. It was like it didn't matter what I verbally speak to her because she would find the truth just by looking at me. In that moment I felt like it mattered to her too. I wanted her to understand. I moved away from the counter and went to stand in front of her, never letting go of her hand.

Once in front of her, I couldn't tear my eyes from her. She is the most exquisite thing that I have ever seen. Her hair was loose in her face and I gently rose my hand, trying to show her what I was about to do in case she didn't want me to, and put it behind her ear like I saw her doing several times before. I heard her breath hitch but didn't find anything in her eyes trying to stop me. So while answering her, I slowly moved my face closer to hers.

"It matters, Bella, because having to respect our roles in the company is impossible. Because having to watch you from afar is the hardest thing I've ever done. Because thinking of losing you before even being able to have you is the worst kind of torture. But mostly because the idea of someone else touching you is maddening."

When I finished speaking, my lips were mere centimeters from hers. I knew I was already gone so I crushed my lips to hers. It was infinitely better than kissing her cheek. It was infinitely better than anything I've done in my life. In that moment it was like everything around me disappeared and all I could feel was Bella. Her soft lips, her breath tickling the skin of my face, the smooth skin of her cheek, the sound of her heart, the shape of her shoulder under my hand. I was completely overwhelmed with the sensation of her. She was everything. The most beautiful thing. I guess I even said that out loud between the soft kisses I was giving her, but I didn't care. It was all true.

The moment Bella's hands fisted my hair I lost all control. She opened her legs inviting me to come closer to her and I went. Our bodies crushed together while my hand moved from her jaw to her hair. I fisted it too because I could. Because she was here and she was mine. Our kiss was becoming more frantic and the desire took control of my body. I wanted her. All of her. I started moving my hand down her arm to her waist until her hip. I wanted to grab her and make her mine. When she crossed her legs behind my back all space between us ceased. My erection was pressing on her belly and I was going crazy with the contact. I wanted more and I wanted her closer. I moved my hand away from her hip and down her knee. Then I started moving slowly up her legs and under her dress. I stopped when I reached her hip again and grabbed the most gently I could. I was pulling her closer to me.

I could feel it everywhere. The way her tongue was dancing with mine. The way her hands were pulling strongly at my hair, like she had no self control. The way her body was hot and soft against mine. The way her legs were pulling me closer. The way her bests were pressed against my chest. The soft skin of her legs. Everything about her was perfect; everything about the moment was perfect. I broke our kiss because at this point, her lips were probably already swollen. I started kissing her face on the way to her ear and when I started kissing her neck I heard her moaning. It was the sexiest sound and I almost came undone. It was in this time I realized what I was doing.

I was about to take Bella in a counter outside her friend's party. What I was doing could probably be considered sexual harassment. I was about to force Bella into having sex with me. I simply started kissing her without asking her permission. And what she would say to a question like that? "Yes, boss, I let you fuck me."? I was about to fuck my Bella on a fucking counter. She deserved so much more than this. She deserves so much more than a monster that ravage her on a party. Kissing her one last time on her neck, because I am selfish enough to want to say goodbye to her, I slowly moved away with my eyes closed. I couldn't look at her yet. When I composed myself enough I looked her in the eyes to tell her the one promise I would have to die to keep, but I would because it was the least she deserved from me.

"I am so sorry, Bella. I just got carried away… I am sorry. I know that this is not appropriate… I just… I hope you can forgive me. It won't happen again, I assure you that. I am sorry."

I didn't stay long enough to hear her response. I didn't have the courage to face her rage. I knew she hates me by now. She has to after what I've done to her. But I hope she can find it in her to forgive me. Forgive me for being too selfish to deny myself the feeling of her. Forgive me for using her for my own pleasure.

I hope she can forgive me for loving her too much.

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><p><strong>I wish I could just write a huge story of Edward and Bella loving each other freely. But we all know that Edward is not like that. So I had to write the Edward we know and love, even if he is a stupid ass sometimes.<strong>

**Again, thank you for reading! And I would love to hear what you guys are thinking. :)**


	9. Chapter 08

**All Stephenie Meyer.**

**Chapter 08:**

I just stood there looking at the closed door. It may have been two minutes as it could have been two hours. Not long ago I had Edward and now I had nothing but the huge hole in my chest. I always knew that I am not good enough for him. I knew it with all my being. But knowing that he also agrees with me is more that I can handle. I am not good enough for him and he also thinks so. He kissed me and he regretted it. He touched me and promised to never do it again. He is sorry for the most beautiful moment of my life. He didn't mean to give me that and now he took it away.

I wanted to cry and to run after him demanding him to give me the part of me that he took with him out of that door. But I couldn't move and I couldn't cry. I didn't have it in me. I didn't have anything inside of me anymore beside the huge pain of Edward's regret and rejection. So I am here staring at the door somehow hoping that I will eventually open my eyes and discover that all of it was the most heavenly nightmare. After all, at least I could experience the incredible dream that is Edward.

I heard a sob and discovered it came from me. It's amusing how I can't sense that I am crying but now I'm seeing the tears falling on the floor in front of me. When did I start crying? Have I always been so loud while crying? I closed my eyes in an attempt to make everything disappear but I guess it wasn't working. More years may have passed. Or maybe it was just five more minutes. I was wondering if I had some reason to leave, if someone was, by now, expecting me somewhere but I couldn't remember.

"Bella?"

I started feeling things moving around me but I was too tired to open my eyes. My name was being repeated over and over but I didn't know who was calling me. I didn't care because I knew who wasn't. I knew that this wasn't Edward's velvet voice, so it didn't matter.

"Bells, please, look at me. What happened baby?"

Was it Charlie? My father was the one who always called be Bells… he and Jacob. Was it Jake?

"Jake?"

"Yes, baby. It's me. Look at me, Bells. What's wrong?" He was gently cleaning my face, taking the hair that was now pasted on my face because of the tears. It only made me want to cry more. Why couldn't Edward love me like Jake does?

"Jake, why do you love me?"

"Oh, Bells. What's not to love about you? Come on, look at me, please." He was begging and the least I could do was to look at him. When I did, I almost closed my eyes again. He looked desperate. He was almost crying while searching for something on my face, maybe the reason for my break down. I didn't like to see my Jake like that so I managed a smile. He breathed what must have been a sigh of relieve and smiled too.

"Come on, Bells. Let's get you home."

* * *

><p>What the fuck is this headache? And why can't I move? My pillow was softer last time I checked… and my pillow never moved by itself. And my pillow clearly didn't breath. It was clear that this was my bedroom but… who was in bed with me? Fuck. Did I drink that much last night? I am afraid to look up and find out the kind of guy I brought home. So I think the best option is to come back to sleep and find out what had happened to me later.<p>

* * *

><p>"Bells?"<p>

Who could possibly be calling me right now? I live alone so I must be dreaming then.

"Bells, wake up."

What kind of fucked up dream is that so insistent in waking me up?

"Go to hell, stupid annoying dream!"

"Bells, come on! Wake up."

My dream is fucking laughing at me. What's up with that?

"Argh! I never had in my entire life such a persistent stupid dream!" I was not giving up just yet.

"Bells, I know I am dreamy and all but I'm not stupid. Come on, wake up!"

Oh my God. Is that Jake? Did I just call Jake dreamy and stupid and annoying? What the hell is Jake doing in my house?

"Jake, what are you doing here?"

"Waking you up, sleeping beauty. It's time for breakfast."

* * *

><p>Jake left me so I could go to the bathroom and stuff. I was with a huge headache and at first I didn't remember the reason why. At first it didn't make any sense for Jake to be in my house waking me up. It was only when I started forcing to remember that all came back to me. I really wished I wasn't a curious person. I rather not remember.<p>

Jacob was here because he brought me back home after finding me crying over Edward. I couldn't see things clearly because my eyes are probably huge from hours of crying. I spent hours crying because Edward left me. He kissed me and he regretted it.

Staring at the mirror I couldn't believe what I was seeing. It was a good thing that I didn't use any makeup because I would be looking like a panda if I did. My eyes were all red and puffy. My hair was a mess. My mouth was dry. And my clothes… well, just thinking about it makes me blush several shades of red.

After finding me in a deplorable state, Jake brought me home. He held me close to him and I cried for ever. At first he was asking the cause of such distress but I couldn't tell him. He kept asking if someone had hurt me but I assured him that it wasn't it. Of course it was, but I guess he was talking about physical damage. And Edward didn't cause me any so I wasn't lying. At some point he gave up finding out the reason and settled on speaking calming words in my ear. He told me I didn't deserve any kind of pain and that he will always be with me so no one could hurt me anymore. He kept telling me that I was a beautiful person inside and out and that he loved me. He also kept asking me to come back to him, but I didn't understand what he meant by that.

When I calmed down a bit, he asked me if I wanted to sleep. I was really tired and sleeping sounded appealing but I didn't want to. I always had vivid dreams and was too afraid of sleeping alone. When I voiced that fear, Jake assured me that he wasn't going anywhere. I knew I couldn't use him to support because deep down his intentions wasn't friendly only but I didn't knew what else to do so I accepted his offer. The security that I felt in the moment I realized I wasn't alone was enough to make me drift to sleep.

I woke up some moments later sitting on the edge of my bed with Jake caressing my face. He was asking if my clothes were comfortable and I shook my head no. The dress had a strap on my waist that was too tight by now and was making me lose my breath. He asked me where my clothes were and after going through my stuff, he asked me if I could put my camisole by myself. I really wanted to, but I just didn't have the strength to move. Jake lowered himself to my eye level and spoke softly that he would change me then, but that he would do his best not to enjoy. He was laughing, trying to lighten the mood. I knew he was being honest. That he would never take advantage of me so I just nod for him to go along.

He loosed the strap of the dress slowly. When the dress was open, he took it over my head. I was feeling exposed and was blushing but I felt safe with Jake. He quickly put my camisole without hurting me like my mom used to when she dressed me when I was half sleeping like that. The cotton from the camisole was incredible comfortable in my skin and it was exactly what I needed.

Jake laid me on the bad and asked me where I wanted him to sleep. He asked me if I had some blanket for him to sleep on the floor. I just said that he wasn't a dog and patted the bed motioning him to sleep next to me. I heard him taking his t-shirt off and climbing on my bed. He positioned himself by my side and hugged me tight. In that moment I knew he would protect me and I fell asleep.

* * *

><p>Jake made us an incredible breakfast and I was indeed starving. We sat on my kitchen table for two hours or so, talking about things without importance. Like always, he even manage to make me laugh a little. I guess that when he felt that I was good enough he started something I wasn't prepared for.<p>

"Bells, was it Edward that made you cry like that?"

"What? Why?" I was nervous. Did he saw something?

"You kept saying his name at night. At first it wasn't clear but you kept saying it... And you were asking him not to leave you. What did he do, Bells? It was him, wasn't it?"

I didn't remember dreaming last night but I should have guessed that I would betray myself like that. I always did. The thing is that I couldn't tell Jacob or anyone for that matter. What have happened could destroy my career and Edward's so I had to lie. This was going to be buried with me. Putting on my best business face I spoke with the most security manageable.

"Jake, dreams are weird things. Edward must have appeared in it because of something that happened at work sometime and I mixed up with the 'don't leave me' part. And even if I can't possibly say how much I'm grateful for what you are doing to me, I can't talk about it just yet."

He was looking at me suspiciously. Maybe he didn't believe me and at this point it didn't matter much. I would have to come up with some explanation for my breakdown, knowing Jake won't let go but I won't be able to tell him the truth.

I just wish I could come up with something to avoid working tomorrow. Or ever. I don't know how I am going to face Edward and treat him with the respect that I have to have towards him. I don't know if I will be able not to cry or beg for some explanation of why he doesn't think I am good enough. And mostly, how am I going to act like I agree with him? Because I have to manage some pride and act like I also think it's inappropriate for us to make out on some co-worker's party. I have to define my boundaries as a respectable professional who doesn't want to screw my way to the top. Because I don't. I just happen to fall in love with my boss. That's all.

* * *

><p>I left Bella and went straight home. I heard Alice calling me but I choose to ignore. I couldn't talk to anyone like this. Once I was home I tried to think things clear. I have kissed Bella and nothing could compare to having her pressed on my body, her lips on mine. I wished nothing more than to have her like that again. But I know I can't and I will have to deal with my feelings some other way.<p>

I will have to content myself with the gift that is the sight of her. We'll see each other every day and even if I won't be able to be with her the way I want to, at least she'll be in my life somehow. To be honest, being presented with her laughs, her voice, the sparkle in her eyes when she is happy about something at work, is way more than I deserve and I'll grab to it with everything I have. And maybe, someday, we can be together.

One day she won't be an intern anymore. Someday she will be a manager like I am now. And by this time, she'll have already built a reputation that she deserves. Then, if she wants me I will be hers. I no longer will stain her image. I will hold to that possibility, the chance that if she is meant to be mine, she will be at the right moment. And I will wait for her until the end of time if I have to, because nothing is more worth it than her.

It is impossible not to wonder about the connection I feel to Bella. I never felt anything like this before. The need of her, the electricity the course trough me every time I touch her. Is that what it feels like to be in love with someone? I thought I have been in love once in my life and it was nothing compared to it. If I ever fell in love again will I feel the same way? People fall in love several times during life, so if it's just it, it's to be expected that I will get over her and start over again with someone else.

The fact is that I know that this isn't just some passion. I am not just in love with Bella. We do have a connection that is beyond comprehension. I don't only need her for me. I need her happiness. It's like her accomplishments in life are the charge of mine. Every smile of her warms my heart and makes my life worth it. Just her existence is enough for me to breath. I know I will never be complete without her but if I destroy her I won't be able to live with myself. Because it doesn't matter if I am complete or not as long as she is happy.

I spent Sunday thinking of her. It was impossible to avoid the memories to take control of me. Just thinking of her touch and her smell made me want to forget about any reasonable thing and run to her. But I will remain strong. I will do what's best for her.

By Monday I was already going insane. I missed her so much that it was almost comical. I never thought I could be so in love with someone before. I wake up way before my alarm and went running to work. When I arrived, before everyone of our floor, I started counting the minutes for her arrival. It was a stupid move, because she has class in the morning and only come to work at lunch time.

When was around time for her to come, I went to the restaurant. Bella usually have lunch before coming up. When I entered the place, I had to hold back the growl that formed on my throat. Bella was entering the restaurant in front of me. The problem was that she was holding Jacob's hand. She was with her back to me so I couldn't see her face but she was wearing a high waist black skirt with a blue blouse and flats. She never wore skirts at work before. Her pale legs begged to be caressed. It was impossible not to think that I have done it before.

But the thing was: what was she doing holding Jacob's hand? She told me he is not her boyfriend. I know he is ridiculous enough to force himself on her, but holding hands is something so intimate. Her body language didn't show any discomfort and it was clear that she was willing to give him her hand. She said they weren't a couple but did she want to? Were they walking into being one?

If things couldn't get worse, he inclined towards her and whispered something in her ear. She shook her head lightly and he put some loose hair behind her ear. Her profile was to me and I saw her small smile to his action. He smiled back and started pulling her to the lunch line. At this point, I had already lost all my appetite and went back to work.

She went up a half hour later and she was all smiles. She seemed happier then I ever saw her. Even her voice, when she greeted everyone, seemed more content. On her way to her station, she passed through my table, looked at me smiling and said "Hi, Edward" then she turned and sat.

She didn't seem disturbed by our encounter. She acted like we never kissed. I guess that it was the most professional thing to do. I obviously will act like nothing had happened but I guess that in my eyes I will always show her that we have a secret. But she looked at me like it was any other day. I manage a smile and answered her back. I was dying inside. She didn't hate me for what I have done but she wasn't affected by it in any form.

I know that I should be happy. She doesn't hate me and we will be able to work together. She will continue down her path to success and I will be somehow by her side. This is how things should be but I couldn't help being hurt by her indifference. Kissing her was the most memorable thing for me while for her it was some wrong incident that was so insignificant that she was willing to forgive and forget. I was insignificant to the point of forgiving and forgetting.

* * *

><p><strong>The chapters are small because I don't have much time available, so every time I have something that can configure a chapter, I post it. Otherwise, it would take too much time for me to post new things.<strong>

**Tomorrow is Friday so I'll probably write a bigger chapter or two.**

**Hope you are enjoying it!**


	10. Chapter 09

**All Stephenie Meyer.**

**Chapter 09:**

It's been a week since the _encounter_. I decided that I should act like nothing has happened. It was what Edward wanted to do and I will help him. It must be really uncomfortable to have an employee acting like a sick puppy in love. I thought about quitting but I won't let anything get on my way. I have a plan since I am ten years old. I've been successful until now. Edward somehow promised me that the kiss wouldn't affect my professional life so there wasn't any reason for me to let my feelings get on my way of reaching my goal.

On the Sunday I spent with Jacob taking care of me we sort of started dating. It was a really egoistical thing to do, but it just felt somehow right. He started talking to me about his real feelings but told me that above it all, he will always be my friend. I couldn't declare my love to him, so I just told him I wasn't able to reattribute that kind of love but I would always love him truly and will always be his friend too. He told me he knew I was in love with someone else but that he would wait for me.

After hours of conversation that drift between things serious and non-senses that are always there with Jake, he kissed me. It was an affectionate kiss that showed me how much he meant everything. It was nothing compared to Edward's kiss but I can't say it was a bad one. Like everything with Jacob, the kiss felt comfortable and familiar, safe. It gave me hope of someday loving him back and being complete. Deep down I knew that it isn't going to happen. My feelings for Edward are just too strong to end up like that. But I just had to have some hope. I am only 21 years old. I can't possible just have found the love of my life and for some sort of cruel play of the destiny, he doesn't love me back.

By the end of the day, Jacob was officially my boyfriend. He asked me to be able to take care of me and be the one by my side while I healed. It's amazing how he can love me enough to want me like this. Knowing I am not truly his and not even knowing why. First I told him that it wasn't fair with him but he assured me that he would be happy nonetheless. So I said yes.

Monday I went to work to start my facade of a happy person. I acted like nothing has happened. I tried to look content with my life instead of showing how miserable I actually was. Edward also treated me like everything was normal and it only made me die more on the inside. He really wasn't affected for what I thought it was an incredible and undeniable connection.

Jake was making things easier. He kept showing up on my table daily, we didn't had any lunch apart and he helps me working out every night. Kissing Jacob is becoming more natural and I am enjoying it more but I still don't feel like doing it all the time. Unfortunately I am always comparing the two of them and it makes me sick with myself. I should be enjoying the amazing boyfriend I somehow manage to get instead of dreaming about some Mr. Perfect who isn't made for me. The good thing is that Jake knows that I need some time to be more affectionate and he is not complaining about it. So we clearly are taking it slow.

He insisted for us to go watch some movie tonight. I really don't feel like doing anything but staring at my wall but I have to do my best not to drown in this bad mood. Occupying my mind is the best alternative. Today is movies and tomorrow I'll go to see some exhibition with Alice. So I think I'm doing a good job at the non-drowning thing.

As soon as I was out of the car in front of the theater Jake pulled me to him. He kissed me gently like he always does. It's more a caressing than a kiss. He usually holds my arm gently while passing his finger through my hair and face. I felt idolized when he does that because is like I am a really fragile thing that he is admiring and caring. But it also makes me feel sick and disturbed by the idea of not being enough to the one I want while being everything for someone I don't. When we broke apart he spoke on my lips.

"You're really beautiful, Bells."

My only response was to smile at him. Jake is a great guy and he is doing his best so the least I can do is be a good girlfriend to him, since he is doing to me everything I need. He smiled at me back and gave me several peaks on my lips and face. I couldn't help but giggle at his playfulness. Then, he told me he was going to buy our tickets and I just stood there waiting.

When I focused my vision I felt like fainting. Five feet in front of me stood Edward. He was wearing a black t-shirt with black jeans. I'm used to see him in perfect working clothes and here he was like he just fell off the bed and dressed some random thing. His hair was incredibly messier then it usually is and I ached to touch him. It's just impossible not to drool over him. I am sure that Edward is the most beautiful person I have ever seen. Way more beautiful that any Hollywood actor or Calvin Klein model. He was looking at me with a disgusting look on his face and seemed to be a mix of angry and sad. What was he doing here alone? Did some girl ditch him? That would explain the face but not the choice of clothes. I was about to politely wave when he gave long strikes towards me.

"So, he is not your boyfriend." He spoke in a slow deadly voice staring straight into my eyes. What' up with him talking to me like that?

"He is now." I answered with what I wish it was an annoyed face.

"I see. Good to him that you weren't cheating on him when you kissed me then." Was he serious? Was _he_ judging _me_? I didn't kiss him! Not that I didn't want to, but I'm not the one to blame. And why the fuck does he care?

"When I was what? You kissed me, Edward! Not the other way around. And I would never cheat so you don't have to worry about Jake's well being, thank you very much." Furious couldn't describe how I was feeling. All I wanted was some peace. He doesn't love me so why can't he leave me alone? I don't need him tormenting me. I can't stand this.

"You didn't seem to complain. And I am sure as fuck not concerned about you little boyfriend's well being." I'm sorry, what? He was livid. It seemed that he wanted to kill me and was taking him a lot of effort not to do so. Is he really saying that I enjoyed kissing him more than I should? And why are him offending Jacob?

"What the fuck, Edward? Why are you doing this? Can't you come back to being nice about it? You said you were sorry and I thought it was implied that we would leave it alone." I was about to plead. I couldn't stand the angry mood for too long. I'll probably start crying soon.

"You know why I am doing this, Isabella. I've already told you the reason. And I am not coming back to be sorry about it because I am not." He told more calm now. His velvet voice making me warm in parts it shouldn't be. He was looking me strangely. His expression was nothing more than sexy to me. And God, why can't I comprehend a single word this man speaks? What have he told me? Why was he being this rude to me? I thought he wanted us to have a good relationship. How we are going to work together if he blames me for kissing him? When I was about to ask for some explanation, Jake materialized next to Edward. He looked like he wanted to dismember him. Edward only looked to Jacob and said in a really polite voice, like he was greeting a neighbor.

"Jacob, I see that you are now with my Bella over here. I hope you know what you are doing." He fucking smiled at Jake, gave me a fucking kiss on the cheek and told us to have a good fucking evening and fucking left! After two steps he turned looking at me with a smile, when he spoke it only made me more confused.

"And Bella, you will understand it soon. I promise you."

What the fuck?

* * *

><p>Jacob was beyond furious. He was complaining that Edward's behavior was completely inappropriate. Apparently, my boss isn't supposed to kiss me on the cheek, isn't supposed to call me "his" and "as sure as fuck, isn't supposed to give some warning" to my boyfriend. Jake started saying that I should do something about it, like complain to the Head of the department that my boss is unprofessional with me. I know that Edward is not the most reasonable person out there but even if I wasn't in love with him, I wouldn't make any kind of reclamation about him. These are the sort of action that stains a person's image on the business field and I didn't want that. And of course, I didn't want to stain his image, so all Jake's pleadings were in vain.<p>

After a long discussion I told Jacob that he shouldn't be worrying about it. He knew that I was applying to a lot of trainee programs but he thought that if I was able to choose, I would chose to do the Voltera trainee. I told him that I would rather go to another Company to learn more and that my preference was the Masons Inc. so in less than five months I would no longer be Edward's intern and that I wouldn't see him anymore. That seemed to calm him a bit but he kept telling that he didn't like the idea of me being close to him anyway.

The sad thing is that it wasn't Edward's behavior that was inappropriate but my feelings for him. I guess if I didn't love him, our relationship would be a lot different. The saddest thing was that he was right for blaming me for the kiss. Truth is that I probably gave him some "kiss me vibe" because I was, indeed, in a need of him. And even if I wasn't, when he first touched me and I mean touching my hand I would have pulled away if I wasn't in love with him. Pulling away was the most reasonable course of action. Men are guided by their hormones. Edward was probably a little bit drunk and we were alone in some private place which leading him to think about me sexually.

I was supposed to be the voice of reason in the moment and I wasn't. I grabbed him by his hair and pulled him to me. I pressed my body against his erection and I moaned to the contact. I kissed him back with all I have and he noticed, of course. I should have let him know that his hormones were getting the best of him but instead I made him go along. So he has some sort of right to be mad at me. Being even more rational I think he is also mad because he probably thought more of me. Maybe he thought that I was better than this. Now he is probably thinking that I would act like this with any other guy or any other co-worker without thinking the consequences and it makes him disappointed.

I disappointed him.

* * *

><p>During the entire week I had to stand watching Bella and Jacob together. He was every fucking where. He was with her at lunch, at her table and when I thought about working out at night to be more time close to her, guess who already had the idea? Jacob the fucking sick puppy, of course. I tried to convince myself that it was for the best. She must like him. I should be happy with her happiness. And to be honest, I was. But it is just too hard to stand the sight of her with someone else. When I thought about being supportive I thought about working stuff not her love life. The most maddening thing about it all was the fact that she told me she wasn't dating him.<p>

For a long time they were already very close but this week things got exponentially worse. At first I thought she didn't reciprocate the feelings but now she seemed pleased with his presence. Did she lie to me about her status? Did she cheat on him with me? Did she kiss me out of revenge? I have so many questions that only she could answer and that I would never be able to ask and it was driving me to the point of losing it.

Friday morning Emmett asked me to have a beer with him later. I tried to talk myself out of it but he told me he wasn't actually asking but letting me know that we were having a beer later. When we arrived at the bar he looked at me seriously and it get me worried. Emmett is not a serious guy. He is always making jokes. He just rubbed the nape of his head and spoke fast.

"Look, bro, I don't know how to tell you this but… You have to stop, ok?"

"What are you talking about, Emmett?"

"You are clearly in love with Bella. I get it. She is a great girl. She is smart and beautiful and perfect to you because she is in love with you too. So stop doing what you are doing."

What he means by Bella is in love with me? And what am I doing?

"What am I doing? And how do you know if she is in love with me?"

"The same way I know you are in love with her. She is always looking at you like you are some sort of God or something." He was laughing now. Great, he is probably fucking with me.

"And about what you are doing, you are over thinking everything. Dude, you want the girl go get the girl. She is only out of reach if she is your intern so once she is not anymore, there won't be any problem." He continued.

"But she is my intern now so there's nothing I can do now but wait. And while I do, she is every day more in love with that fucker from Financial Department." And he is saying that she is in love with me. Like I could be that lucky.

"Edward, fuck this shit. You've always told me about your plans of starting your own Company. You said it yourself that you just needed some time to learn more about the business before doing it on your own. You know enough already. So just fucking quit!" He was almost yelling, well, more than he usually does.

"I can't just quit, Emmett. I have to start the preparations before. I have to think things through. And fuck, I can't start a Company because I am in love with my intern. This is just insane!" Fuck him. The idea was incredibly appealing.

"Of course you can. You have enough know-how, money and contacts to do so. You are not starting a Company because of a girl. You are just rushing the process. If you start now, you will have everything settled in a few months. Then, you won't even work in the same place than her and that's it." He said smiling like only he could.

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><p>I spent the entire Saturday thinking about the things Emmett talked to me about. I always dreamed about starting my own Company but I thought about doing it much later. The fact is that now I couldn't think about a better time of doing so. I would start everything now and in some months I would be out of Voltera Inc. for good and focus on my own business. It will only take the time of letting the Head Board know about my exit, finishing the pending projects and organizing everything there until someone is able to replace me.<p>

During this time I can be more close to Bella and let her know that I am not only a monster who attacks interns at parties. I will show her the part of me capable of loving her and once I am not her boss anymore, I will tell her how much I love her. And maybe she will want to try to be with me. The only problem will be if she doesn't wants to be with me anyway. Then I will not only lose her but the possibility of being close to her in some way.

Before going mad with the anticipation and doubts I decided to go watch some movie. Since I don't intent on going on dates while waiting for being with Bella, the only way of catching up with the movies I want to see is to go alone. I bought the tickets way before the start of the movie but the weather was kind of good so I decided to wait outside. When I got out of the theater's doors I stopped dead on my tracks. I had to stop because I was afraid of killing someone if I moved. I was afraid of killing _him_.

Five feet in front of me were Bella and Jacob kissing. And not the shameless making out in public kind of kiss. It was an intimate and sweet kiss. He was holding her lightly on her arm while caressing her face and her hair. He was speaking next to her lips and she was smiling at him. He was giving her peaks all over her face and she was fucking giggling at the action. They were kissing like they have kissed billion times before. They were kissing like two people in love.

I couldn't see straight. I was seeing red. I wanted to rip his head off to prevent it to have him looking at her or kissing her again. I wanted to dismember him so he would never touch her again. I wanted to go there and break them apart because he couldn't be doing that. He couldn't be kissing _my_ Bella like that. She is supposed to be on my arms. I am the one to hold her like I have done a week from today. Thinking about it made me incredibly mad at her. She lied to me telling that they weren't dating and it is clear that they are. I told her I couldn't stand seeing her with someone else and she made me believe that she wasn't with anyone. I kissed her and I grabbed her like she belonged to me.

But she kissed me back. And she grabbed me back. She pulled me closer to her and she moaned when I pressed myself against her body. She enjoyed being with me because deep down she must feel the connection too. And if she does, she is mine. It doesn't matter if this dog tried to claim her or put his dirty paws on my sweet Bella, she is mine if she feels it too. I realized Bella was no longer in Jacob's embrace and was actually staring at me with wide eyes like a deer caught in the lights. I took long strikes to be closer to her the fast I could and I spoke the only thing I could possible think of in the moment.

"So, he is not your boyfriend." My voice was dripping sarcasm and I was very angry with her for making me a fool.

"He is now." She answered with an annoyed face like I was bothering her by speaking to her. How she expected me to accept this answer? They weren't acting like a five days old couple so she must be lying.

"I see. Good to him that you weren't cheating on him when you kissed me then." I knew I was being low but I just couldn't help it. The anger and betrayal I was feeling was too big even if I had no right to feel like that.

"When I was what? You kissed me, Edward! Not the other way around. And I would never cheat so you don't have to worry about Jake's well being, thank you very much." I knew she was right and she wasn't lying. Bella wouldn't cheat. She is too good for something so wrong. And she was right to say that I was the one who started the kiss but she continued. And caring about the fucking dog's feelings? She must be fucking with me.

"You didn't seem to complain. And I am sure as fuck not concerned about you little boyfriend's well being." I was being too rough on her. I had to stop but I just didn't know how to control my feelings at the moment.

"What the fuck, Edward? Why are you doing this? Can't you come back to being nice about it? You said you were sorry and I thought it was implied that we would leave it alone." Didn't she heard anything I told her before kissing her? How much I want her, how much I hate having to be away from her and how much I hate the idea of her with someone else? I just saw her kissing some other guy. How she expected me to react? And after torturing myself with denying her I find a way to be with her to see her in someone else's arms. She expects me to be sorry? I am not sorry for kissing her. I am sorry for not thinking about some way out before. Now that I have, I won't leave it alone. I will do whatever it takes to be with her that way again. To be the only one to touch her.

"You know why I am doing this, Isabella. I've already told you the reason. And I am not coming back to be sorry about it because I am not." I spoke calmly staring straight into her beautiful brown eyes. I noticed that while I was speaking her breath was becoming more labored and her cheeks were becoming that gorgeous shade of pink. She looked a lot like she did when pressed against my body and it only gave hope that maybe she wanted me as much as I wanted her. I wanted to hear her response but I sensed Jacob standing next to me. I managed a smile and spoke the most politely I could.

"Jacob, I see that you are now with my Bella over here. I hope you know what you are doing." I smiled at him to let him know what I meant. She is my Bella and I will not let him get away with her without a fight. Bella's eyes were wide and her mouth agape while still blushing and looking at me like I had grew a second head. She was so just so beautiful that I didn't resist and kissed her on the cheek right where she was blushing. Her smell assaulted my lungs and I welcomed the sensation of her touch. I broke apart from her, smiled and wished them both a good evening. When I was walking away I decided to give her a bigger hint about my intentions since she seemed too clueless. I turned looking at her and said.

"And Bella, you will understand it soon. I promise you."

Game on.

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><p><strong>Thank you all for reading, reviewing and putting the story on alert or on your favorites! It really warms my heart. <strong>


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